Sweet salvation
by Nepeace
Summary: WARNING! CatherineSara Sequel to 'Only time could tell' FINISHED!
1. A little surprised

Sweet Salvation 

**Author: **Nepeace aka Angelique

**Email:** nepeace@hetnet.nl

**Summary:** What happens next in Sara's and Catherine's life?

**Rating:** R

**Warning:** F/F love (femmeslash) and this is the sequel to 'Only time could tell'

**Spoilers:** none

**Distribution:** Just ask, send me an email

I ended 'Only time could tell' but all week my mind kept spinning around and I couldn't stop thinking about this. I think that this topic is very important for a lot of people. It's something that has been on my mind for a while and for this story I'm doing a lot of research so it might take me a little longer then it normally did. 

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except for Ryan, Janice and Marc, and I will be introducing a really special original character but you'll just have to wait until I introduce that person. CBS owns the characters of CSI. I don't intend to harm anyone with this story and I would like to add that I have a great appreciation for Jorja Fox and Marg Helgenberger they are both great actresses. 

Author's note: 

Okay, I'm restless, this story keeps on spinning in my mind, and it wouldn't stop until I started writing it down. I'm not revealing the topic, but it's something that worries me. In more then one way, 'cos it might affect my life in the future. It's kind of about my dreams and fears wrapped in a story about my two favourite women in television.

**_Sweet Salvation_**

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**_Chapter 1 _**

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**_A little surprised_**

Catherine's POV 

I watched Sara as she reversed her SUV down to the street. Lindsey waved at me and I waved back. Ryan was sitting next to Lindsey in his car seat. I smile; my life has never been as good as it was right now. In these past couple of months I had experienced real love and warmth in a relationship with the one person from who I never expected to give me that. With Sara, yes Sara my co-worker and a woman nevertheless. Okay, I fell in love with women before but I never gave into it. Tragedy came and shook Sara's life, and my own, upside down and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I need her like I need air to breath, I feel incomplete and misunderstood when she's not around. I miss her gentle touches on my skin, the butterfly kisses she steals from me when she thinks that no one watches. We both realized how much we need each other and Sara stayed at my house when she recovered from her injuries. And recently she moved most of her personal belongings into my house, but she still held on to her old apartment. Which is completely understandable, she hadn't been too lucky in relationships either. 

Sara's POV 

"Hey Sara, where are we going?" Lindsey asked for at least the tenth time since we drove off. 

"It's a surprise Lindsey, stop asking, 'cos I'm not telling." 

Lindsey pouted and I knew that I would give in if I looked at her, so I just concentrated on the traffic. 

"Sara! Where're we going?" Ryan exclaimed while he clapped his hands. 

"Lindsey, see what you started!" I said in a mock dramatic tone of voice. 

Lindsey snickered and soon we where all laughing. Minutes later I parked the car at a parking lot when Lindsey finally recognized where we were going. I got out of the car and opened the door for Lindsey. 

"We're going to the zoo? That's so cool." Lindsey said while she wrapped her arms around my neck. 

"Yep we are, guess you like it huh?" 

"I do, this is so cool!" 

"Okay little one can you keep an eye on Ryan while I get his stroller out of the car?" 

Lindsey nodded while she turned to Ryan, she started to explain what a zoo was to the three year old. 

"Are there spiders?" he asked Lindsey, and she turned to me. 

"I don't know, but I know a place where you can find spiders." I smiled, I would take them into work later and let Grissom show Ryan his spiders that would at least get him off our backs. Ever since the case where Ryan's parents and sister were killed Catherine and I had offered Janice help when she needed it. She was Ryan's older sister and from one day unto another she decided to take Ryan into her life and raise him as her own, and she is only 21. I was the one who found Ryan at the crime scene and I couldn't ignore the fact that he lost everything while I gained so much. If it wasn't for this case then I don't think that Cath and I would ever have admitted what we felt for each other. I had always known that I loved her, but Cath realized she loved me when she almost lost me when I was kidnapped. Grissom didn't really like the way that Cath and I became involved in the case and especially the fact that we decided to help Janice out wherever we could. But I knew for sure that he wouldn't mind if he finally found someone who likes spiders, even if it is a three year old. 

I got Ryan out of the car seat and put him in the stroller. I walked towards the line in front of the entrance and we waited for our turn to buy the tickets. Lindsey grabbed my hand. 

"Thanks Sara." 

I looked down at her, not knowing what she meant. "Thanks for what?" 

"For making my mum so happy. She was so sad after dad died. I think that she blamed herself because she had left him. This wouldn't have happened when they where still together. She cried almost every night…" 

I squeezed Lindsey's hand, "Don't worry, it's okay." 

She nodded and I paid for the tickets. 


	2. The 'Bugman'

**Chapter 2**

**The 'Bugman'**

"Sara, do you have to work tonight?" Lindsey asked me while we were watching the tigers. 

"No, it's my night off because Janice and Marc are coming over tomorrow morning to pick Ryan up, remember. Do you want to rent a movie when we get home?"

"Can we see Harry Potter, please?"

"Sure we can, but haven't I shown you that DVD yet, 'cos I have it at my place, don't tell me that I didn't bring it over."

"No you didn't, you have it and you didn't show me?"

We walked around the zoo for hours and I showed Ryan and Lindsey all the animals, and told them all the information that I could. Yes I admit I have watched National Geographic and Animal Planet too much on those lonely days when I couldn't sleep. Something that I ain't doing anymore, those small things show me how much I have changed in these past couple of months. I had given up on all those small habits. We came home ate breakfast with Lindsey and we would take Lindsey to school and then we would go to bed when we came home. I hadn't seen my police scanner in months. It was still one of the things I kept at my place. But now I made up my mind. 

Ryan's face leaned against my shoulder and his arms where around my neck. He was sleeping in my arms when we walked towards the parking lot. I handed Lindsey the car keys and she opened the door. I sat Ryan in his car seat and he stirred a little.

Ryan woke up whilst I was driving, I was actually close to the CSI building. I decided that I might as well pay the guys and Catherine a visit. I dialed Grissom's number. He picked up immediately.

"Hey Grissom, it's me Sara. I have someone here with me who would like to see your spiders, is it okay to come over."

I would take any chance to show Grissom what a great kid Ryan is, and Grissom's spider collection might just be the thing that would accomplish that. 

"Hey Ryan, wanna see some spiders?" 

"Yeah, spiders. I wanna see them!" 

"Okay, but you have to listen to me because we are going to see my boss, he has a lot of spiders in his office."

I parked the car and got Ryan and Lindsey out of the car. "I don't know if Catherine is in at the moment. Her car is parked over there, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she is in."

"I know that." Lindsey said understandingly. 

"I thought so, I just wanted to make sure that you wouldn't be disappointed." 

We walked inside the building and I showed my badge to the receptionist. She gave me two visitor badges and I handed one to Lindsey and explained Ryan, why he needed the badge. He was such a smart little boy he immediately understood that he needed to wear one if he wanted to go into the building. He held my hand when we entered and showed his badge to anyone we passed. 

We passed Greg's lab and he waved at me, I opened the door to the break room and let Lindsey and Ryan in. Nick was sitting on the couch reading through some files. 

"Hey Nicky, do you know where Catherine and Grissom are?" 

"Wow Sara, last time you showed up here on your day off you brought Lindsey and now you bring in Ryan, who will you bring in next time?"

"Very funny cowboy, where are Cath and Grissom?"

"Hey Sara, wow are you running a daycare on your day off?" Warrick asked when he walked into the break room. 

"Okay, I already heard that comment. Now is anyone going to tell me where I can find Cath and Grissom."

"Cath is at the dry lab, and Grissom is probably in his office." Warrick chuckled while he poured some coffee into a mug. 

"Warrick can you ask Cath if she has some time?" He nodded and walked out of the room. Returning a minute later with Catherine. Catherine walked over to Lindsey and hugged her. "Hey baby, how was the zoo?" Lindsey told Catherine about the zoo and I walked over. Catherine kissed me when I reached her. "Hey babe, what are you doing here?" 

"Ryan, wants to see spiders, so I thought that this might be a way to show Grissom what a great kid Ryan is. Maybe he'll understand us then." 

"Hmm, good thinking, maybe it'll help. He was in his office last time I saw him."

"Ryan, are you ready to see some spiders?"

"Show me the spiders." He said while he giggled. I picked him up and walked into the hallway towards Grissom's office. I knocked on the door and waited for Grissom's answer. I opened the door and he stared at me when he saw me standing in the door. 


	3. Spiders and apartments

Chapter 3 

**Spiders and apartments**

"Sara?"

"Hi Grissom, please spare me the lecture about being emotionally involved in a case. The case is closed I can do whatever I want with my emotions." I guess that my voice sounded harsher then I had intended. Grissom took his glasses off and dropped them in front of himself on the desk. He knew that in this case the lecture would be more than pointless. I was now standing in front of Grissom's desk and I put Ryan down on the ground. Ryan immediately hid himself behind me, his hands clamping onto my hand. He was still afraid of people that he didn't know. 

"Ryan," I said while I lowered myself down to be at eyelevel with him. "This is Grissom, he's my boss the man I told you about remember? He's one of the 'good guys' just like me and Catherine." 

Ryan nodded his head. "You trust me right?" I asked him and I again I was answered with a nod. "Well I would never allow anything bad to happen to you again, so when I tell you that you can trust Grissom here then you can trust him okay sweetheart?" 

Ryan looked up at Grissom, "Okay." He whispered to me. 

"Grissom, this is Ryan, he would like to see your spiders. I took him and Lindsey to the zoo, but he kept asking for spiders. I thought that you would like to tell him something about your 'pets'." I said while I chuckled. 

"Hi Ryan, how are you?" Grissom said while he knelt down in front of Ryan. 

"I'm fine." He said shyly. 

"So you've seen all the animals in the zoo today and you still wanted to see the spiders."

"Hey Ryan, why don't you tell Grissom about your sister." I said trying to make the conversation a little easier.

"Okay, my sister Janice she's really scared of spiders and one day she screamed in the kitchen, and I saved her from the spider."

"You did?" Grissom asked, while Ryan looked really proud of himself. "But you didn't kill the spider did you?" 

"No, I picked it up and put the spider outside on the veranda. That's good isn't it?" 

"Yes it is, come here and I'll show you my spiders. But I have to warn you they are bigger than  normal spiders." Grissom took Ryan over from me and walked back to the cabinets behind his desk, he showed Ryan his spiders. I watched the two of them together for a while. But I saw that Ryan was connecting with Grissom and that he trusted him so I sneaked out of his office. I figured that he would know where to find me. I walked back to the break room where I found Catherine and Lindsey. She's so beautiful; I still can't believe that I'm the one that she wants to spend her life with. I know now what I've got to do. I opened the door and stepped closer to Catherine. "Hey gorgeous, I'm going to sell my apartment tomorrow." Catherine looked at me in surprise. "You are?"

"Yeah, well if you are sure about wanting me at your place, I mean like forever then I will."

"Of course I want that, I just didn't want to force you giving up your apartment when you weren't ready to take that step." Catherine stood up and hugged me. "I'm so happy, I can't believe that this is happening." 

"Well it won't change anything really, I haven't been at my place since we got most of my important things out of there and into your house." 

" I think that it is really something, it official now. You have nowhere else to hide, girl." Catherine added while her kisses moved down my neck. I felt her hot breath caressing my neck as I heard the door open. 

Someone was trying really hard to make his presence in the room known. Catherine pulled away from me and blushed a little bit. 

"Hey Warrick." Catherine greeted the dark man standing in the door opening. 

"Hi, you two look happy, what's up?"

"Sara is going to sell her apartment tomorrow."

"She is? So it's final now there is no way back after you do that. Although I have a spare room if you need it, just give me a call." Warrick smirked. They still loved teasing us with the fact that we didn't get along that well for so long. "Warrick!" Catherine gave Warrick a smack on his arm. "Don't give her any ideas." 

"He doesn't need to give me any ideas, I know for a fact that Greggo would always give me a place to sleep. Won't you Greggo?" Greg just opened the door and only heard the last sentence.

"You need a place to crash, no problem. Had a lil catfight?" While he clawed with his hands in the air making a catlike sound. 

"No Greg, I don't need a place to crash and we definitely didn't have a catfight. We are still very much in love." 

The door opened again and Grissom came in holding Ryan in his arms, he was such a cutie he even melted Grissom's heart. Grissom could try to be this guy that didn't show his feelings, but somehow children like Lindsey and Ryan where both able to melt his heart within seconds. Even if he tried to be distant he couldn't hold it up for long. 

"Is anyone still working?" Grissom asked when he saw everyone except for Nick gathered in the break room. 


	4. Goodbye and hello

**Chapter 4 **

**Goodbye and hello's**

"Is anyone still working?" Grissom asked when he saw everyone except for Nick gathered in the break room.

"I guess that Nicky's still working, cause he isn't here." Catherine answered with a smirk on her face. "C'mon Grissom it's a slow night."

"I know that it's a slow night, but I also know that you have enough paperwork on your desk to be occupied the rest of the night." Grissom knew that Catherine and I tried to get home as fast as we could after shift. Which meant that the paperwork kept piling up on our desks. 

"Sara, here take Ryan and Lindsey with you, it's your night off. Catherine will be home right after shift." Grissom smirked, and turned around to leave the break room after he handed Ryan to me. 

Catherine walked us back to our car and said goodbye. "See you in the morning, babe." 

"You can count on that." I kissed her goodbye and got into the car. Catherine was watching us when we drove around the corner. 

~*~

I woke up when I felt Catherine snuggle up against me in the morning. "Hi sweetie."

"Hi what time is it?" I asked with a sleepy voice. Since Cath and I had been together I was able to sleep, even at night, it was as if my mind finally settled down to the idea that humans needed to sleep every once in a while. "Somewhere around seven thirty." She answered while she kissed me in my neck.

"I have to be at the airport at ten to pick up Janice and Marc." I turned around on my other side and faced Catherine. "I have to get into the shower and then wake up Ryan and Lindsey. I'll drop Lindsey off at Rachel's on my way back." 

"Hmm, I know you told me. Can't you just stay a little longer?" 

"Better not, 'cos that would mean that you won't get as much sleep as you need and Janice and Marc will have to get a cab to come here, only to end up in front of a locked door when they try to pick up Ryan. But I'll be home when you wake up, I promise." 

"See you later, sugar?" I smirked while I kissed Catherine's soft lips and got out of the bed as soon as I could. I knew that I would never make it in time if I let her kiss me back. I got into the shower and let the cold water cool my body down, while my mind drifted back to the start of this all. If anyone had told me that this would happen last year I would have laughed as hard as I could. I had a crush on Catherine from the first time I saw her and even the way that she threatened me didn't stop me from loving her. She bitched at me to keep a distance between us, because she thought that I had a crush on Grissom. When she made her first moves on me I was sure that I was hallucinating from the painkillers that they gave me in the hospital after the attack. But it wasn't the painkillers, nor was it a dream, it was love. 

I wrapped myself in a towel and picked some clothes from the closet. I started dressing myself as I heard Catherine move towards me. She wrapped her arms around my thigh and pulled me onto the bed. She immediately started tracking a line of butterfly kisses down my neck towards my breasts. Until we heard a soft knock on the door followed by Lindsey's voice. "Mom, Sara?"

"Kids!" Catherine mumbled between here teeth. 

"Well she is definitely yours, always in need of attention." I said with a chuckle, while I got up from the bed and pulled my long sleeve shirt on. 

Catherine stuck out her tongue. "Linds, what's the matter?" She called out to her little girl. "I'll get you back for that, you know?" she said to me while Lindsey opened the door. As soon as Lindsey opened the door Ryan answered the room and he clung himself onto my legs, his body shacking with sobs. 

"Hey buddy, what's the matter you didn't dream about those big hairy spiders that Grissom showed you, did you?" I picked him up, his face was read and puffy, he had been crying for a while. 

"No, no bad dream, I just miss Kayla so much and mom and dad." Her cried and his face was tear stained.

"Oh Ryan, I know you miss them, but there isn't anything I can do, I would if I could, you know that right? But we are going to pick up Janice and Marc from the airport." I tried to soothe him and to cheer him up a little. Slowly the sobs faded and his body stopped trembling. 

~*~

"Ryan, are you ready? Where's that drawing that you made for Janice and Marc?" 

"Here!" He said while he held up his drawing. 

Minutes later we were in the car heading towards McCarran Airport, I parked the car and we set foot into the enormous arrival halls. I decided that it would be best if I carried Ryan. 


	5. Love and pain

**Chapter 5 **

**Love**

One look at the arrival board told me at which gate Janice and Marc would arrive and that we had only ten more minutes before they arrived. We rushed through the arrival hall and we made it barely in time. The first passengers came out of the door and I was searching for a sight of Janice and Marc when Ryan screamed his sisters name; "Janice!" Janice looked up when she heard Ryan's voice and walked over to where we were waiting for them, closely followed by Marc. "Ryan, how are you?" 

"I'm fine, look what I made." Ryan chuckled while Janice took him from me. She hugged him and laughed when she saw the drawing. "That's nice buddy, when we get home I will immediately put it up on the fridge." The drawing showed the wedding day barely a week away seen through the eyes of three year old. 

"Hi Janice, Marc, so how was your honeymoon?" I asked Janice while I hugged her. 

"It was so great, but how was Ryan?" 

"He's the cutest, he met my boss and he showed Ryan his spiders. We went to the zoo and Ryan kept asking for spiders, which of course they didn't have at the zoo so I took him to meet my boss who is called the 'bugman' for more then one reason." I smirked. 

"But you told me that your boss wasn't really amused by this, you and Catherine coming to visit us and all because you had gotten too attached to a case or something?" 

"Yeah he did, but I told him that he wouldn't be able to stop me and secondly that this wasn't a case anymore. And besides anyone who likes spiders or bugs can melt his heart." We both laughed. 

Marc and Lindsey came back with the luggage and we walked towards the car park while we talked a little more. I opened the car and we all got in. I dropped Janice, Marc and Ryan off at their new house. Then I drove Lindsey over to Rachel's house. 

I finally came home after I had talked to the real estate agency. I would have to ask the guys at work to help us. Some of my things would be put into storage and some would be moved over to Catherine's house. I opened the door to the bedroom and saw Catherine's naked form only covered by a thin silk sheet. I slowly walked towards her and sat down on the edge of the bed. I watched her more closely and again I realized how beautiful she is. 

As she lies there asleep she looks so at ease and happy. I place one arm on the other site of her body for support. I wipe away a strain of hair from her cheek. I bend down and kiss her on her cheek. She trembles in her sleep, as my lips touch her soft skin. 

I kiss her again and her eyes flutter open, she looks up at me and smiled "I thought that I was dreaming, but this is even better." She slowly turned onto her back, while she kissed me back. The kiss quickly deepened, and soon our tongues were fighting a battle. 

"But there is one thing wrong with this picture." Catherine said as soon as we broke free from each other to catch our breath. I looked down at her surprised not knowing what she meant. She smiled and I felt her hands move under my shirt while she lifted it up. "You are definitely wearing to many clothes!" She said while she chuckled, and lifted my shirt even higher. She released the catch of my bra. I pulled the shirt over my head and threw it down on the ground closely followed by my bra. Catherine started kissing and caressing my breasts while I leaned in closer to her. Catherine's hands fumbled on the buttons of my jeans. While I pulled the silk sheets down towards her stomach, uncovering her breasts. Catherine was still massaging my breasts while I leaned down and kissed hers. Her nipples immediately hardened at my first touch. The blood was pounding through the veins under her skin. She moaned while I moved up to kiss her again. Catherine moved her hands down my body as she started tugging on my jeans, trying to get them off. I stopped kissing her and helped with my jeans. As soon as we lost them she pulled me on top of her. I moved further onto the bed while my hand travelled down her body, trying to find it's way under the sheets. My struggle with the sheets, gave Catherine a fit of laughter.

"Hey it isn't that funny, I'm trying here." I said with a mock angry voice, but of course within moments we were both laughing. 

"Oh babe, don't worry I still love you." Catherine said while she stroke a strand of hair away from my face. Her hands cupped my face as she pulled me up toward her face. We kissed until our lips felt ready to fall off. I had finally managed to get under the sheets, which was better anyway. 

I kissed Catherine again. "So you wanna give it another try?" 

"Of course, you didn't think that I would give up already. Did you?" I said with a mysterious grin playing around my mouth. 

"I don't want you to give up anytime soon."

"That's good cause I don't want to either, but as much as I like this we have to get to work really soon." 

Catherine sat down at the bar in the middle of the kitchen as I handed her a plate with tortilla which I had made while Catherine was in the shower. We ate in silence, thinking about the past hours. When all of the sudden, Catherine looked up at me with a questioning look. "What?" I ask her surprised. She moved her food around her plate. Trying to gain some more time. 


	6. Pain and lies

**Chapter 6**

**Pain and lies**

"Actually nothing, I was just thinking." There isn't enough time to talk about this now. Hopefully she will believe me when I tell her that it is nothing. But then again she probably won't believe me we are way past that part of our relationship. We often know what the other one means by just looking at each other's face. Damn, she doesn't believe me; I can see it in her clenched jaw and her darkened eyes. But I can't talk about this not now. There isn't enough time before shift.

Sara's POV

My mind was screaming alarm; there was definitely something wrong. I had learned to read her in these past couple of months. Slight changes in her face often told me more then she wanted me to know and now she was hiding something for me. Acting like it was nothing, when I knew that something was bothering her. But then again we had to go to work, and our life had become office gossip ever since we came out and I definitely didn't want them to talk about us even more. Nevertheless, I'll ask her tomorrow after shift. 

Catherine started cleaning the plates that we'd used while I grabbed my belongings. I was just connecting my gun to my belt when Catherine called out to me. "Sar, are you ready. We really have to go now."

"Yeah, I'm ready." I grabbed my bag and set the alarm. The drive to the labs was silent and I put on a CD just to break the silence. Of course it had to start with a very wrong song at a very wrong moment.

_I know some things never change. But this can't be one of them. And I don't think I can stand it Any longer... Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared? 'Cos if you're scared. You're not alone. I once thought I was brave-. But I can't stop crying Sometimes I think I'm going crazy. But I am waiting patiently Though I fear it all be in vain …_

At that moment I was ready to trash the darn CD. 

~*~

"Sara, Catherine, I want the two of you together on a body dump in the desert." Grissom handed Catherine the file sheet. 

"Warrick, Nick you two are with me." 

I was already standing at the door of the break room when I noticed that Catherine was still sitting on the couch. "Catherine, my love what are you dreaming about?" I said with a chuckle. It was as if she woke up from deep thoughts, something that worried me even more. I was glad that I would spend the night with her investigating the crime scene in the desert. At least it would mean that we would be together without anyone else. 

~*~

Minutes later we were back in the car. 

"Cath, what's wrong. And don't tell me that it's nothing, 'cos I know that there is something." Catherine looked at me considering what to do.

"Please don't shut me out?" 

"I'm not shutting you out don't worry. I'm just… thinking about something, wondering something. And I'm not sure how you'll react to what I'm going to ask you. But I hope that you'll be honest."

"Why wouldn't I be honest, I've never lied to you about anything." 

"Fear, pain or some other reason. I don't know Sara. I just noticed some things and I'm trying to find out what they mean. But I can't, I need you to tell me, if you trust me enough."

"What? What is it, 'cos I have no idea what you mean?" I was begging her; I was so afraid that there was something really wrong. My mind was turning over like crazy trying to work out what Catherine could mean.

"This past week with Ryan, I've watched you and although you always say that you don't know what to do around kids you damn well what you're doing. You seemed so happy and you are so great with him. But then at other moments I caught you looking at him; just gazing and you had such a pained look on your face. And then yesterday I saw you standing in the doorway and when I wanted to walk up to you I saw that you where crying. I decided to leave you alone and went to bed. What are you not telling me Sara? I'm so worried about you." 

"Don't be, I'm fine there is nothing to worry about." I said, but I knew that she wouldn't believe it. 

Disclaimer: Lyrics are by Kendall Payne, I do not own them, just borrowed. The song is called 'The Second Day'.


	7. A hidden past

**Chapter 7**

**A hidden past**

Catherine managed to get the rest of the night off. Grissom agreed with her, but I guess that she can get him to do anything she wants. I was restless and asked Catherine to drive by my old place. At this point, I wished really hard that it was still mine, so that I at least had a place to go to when I couldn't work things out with Cath. You never knew how things would end, but I knew that I at least had to give Catherine the truth, even though I had been hiding it for over three years. Actually, to be honest I hadn't hidden anything, I just hadn't told anyone about it. 

I was just on my way back to the break room when Catherine called my name. "Ready to go home?" She asked me, I just nodded. Not able to say anything else. I wished that this whole talk was already over. 

Catherine pulled up in front of my old apartment building, I still had to put my belongings into storage somewhere, but then again who knew what tomorrow would bring. I opened the door and told Catherine that I would be back real soon. 

I opened the door to my apartment and immediately walked into the room that I called my office, but I had never used it like that. I searched between the boxes until I found what I was looking for. I knew that it would be a long night and probably a long day. I closed the door behind me and got back into the car. Catherine smiled at me but I could see in her eyes how worried she was. The drive home was filled with a painful silence.

I carried the box into the house and sat it down next to the couch. I grabbed some glasses and a bottle of Jack Daniels; I really needed a drink. Catherine sat down on the couch waiting for me to start my story. "I'd better start at the beginning, I want to give you an image of my life. And it would be better if you knew everything." 

Flashback 

Summer 1983, Tamalas bay California

I was around the age of twelve when I first started noticing that I was more interested in girls then I was in boys. I didn't know what to do with it, it wasn't really something that I could talk about with my parents and besides I was to busy with school and my parents B&B. Besides that I didn't have a sister or any close friends that I could talk too about my feelings and my fears. So I just decided to push the feelings away and cover it with a new goal. I wanted to go to a university, and not just any university I wanted to go to Harvard. So my parents and actually everyone else saw me as a science nerd and that was that. 

Fall 1988, Tamalas bay California

I never had any real friends until I went to high school, I met a girl there, her name was Ameilia. I called her Amy, we found out that we had a lot in common and we were inseparable. We did everything together and well most people thought that we where really close friends, and that we hung together because no one else would want to talk to us science nerds. But Amy and I had passed the stage of friendship a long time ago. We loved each other and no one ever found out because we weren't interesting enough. It was the best time in my life, until one day Amy's brother caught us while we where kissing. He told Amy's father, who was furious. Amy was afraid to go home, but I told her that we could make it together if we just held on to each other and believed in the things that we saw as important. Amy went home and I never saw her again. Her dad hit her and she fell, her head hitting the edge of the table. She was in a coma for four weeks and then she died. Her dad made it pretty clear to my parents that I was to blame for his daughter's death. He told them everything and my parents were furious. I graduated that summer and I got into Harvard. 

End flashback 

I was crying, the pain of Amy's loss was still present. "I never got to say goodbye." Catherine leaned into me and pulled me into a hug. "I wasn't allowed to visit her in the ICU and I never went to her funeral. I just left as fast as I could, going on to Harvard trying to act like nothing happened." 

Catherine soothed me until my sobs subsided.

Flashback 

During my time at Harvard: I had some friends but I was too afraid to tell them about my past and my feelings. I fell in love with this incredible girl in my class, she became on of my best friends but of course she was as straight as anyone could be. Just the thought of two girls together grossed her out. I had some one night stands but nothing mayor. I wasn't ready for a relationship and besides that my friends kept hooking me up with guys all the time and I did what I was supposed to do; I dated them. Then one day we had this lecture from Griss at the university and I was really interested in his lecture and I wanted to know more about his job. We drank some coffee and talked for a while, he gave me his phone number and told that I could call him when I was ready with my education if I didn't mind working with the dead. 

I never came back on his offer, but we stayed in contact every once in a while and when I graduated, I wanted to go back to 'Frisco. Although I don't know why, there was nothing left for me there. But I got a job offer from the Coroner's office and I took it. I did the same when I started working for the Coroner's office. I started dating guys again, I was afraid to lose my job, I worked so hard to achieve what I did and I didn't want to lose over something as stupid as my sexual preference. I even got myself so far that I believed that I wasn't interested in women anymore. Nevertheless every once in a while I woke up next to a woman. 

Until … 

End flashback 

Again I was crying, it was so hard talking about the things that I had left in the past. The things that I had considered to be a closed topic, not ever wanting to speak about it again; but the hardest part was still to come.


	8. A hidden past and the consequences

Chapter 8 

A hidden past and the consequences

Flashback 

I became friends with one of my co-workers and then one night she said that she knew the perfect guy for me. I agreed in meeting the guy, his name was Paul and he was this sweet and kind guy. He was also really jealous. 

With Paul everything had been so different, I really thought that I loved him. Although it wasn't like with Amy; that was real love. This was just love, we dated for a while and he introduced me to his family and I took him home with me on thanksgiving. My parents where thrilled to see Paul. They probably thought that I was cured and that things would be alright from now on. Still I visited Amy's grave, nobody knew about that. 

From the outside everything seemed to be normal, and I seemed happy. People around me didn't know how miserable I felt. Then Paul told me about this job opening at the CSI team and I applied. They approved me and I got the job. Life seemed to go by and before I knew it I was living together with Paul. It felt good and secure, in some strange way. I began feeling better about myself and after a while I even began to think that Amy had just been a phase that I had to go through. A phase in which we were exploring our possibilities. But this nagging voice kept telling me that it wasn't like that. I guess after a couple of months Paul and I were really happy and I denied the other feelings and one day I found out that I was pregnant. At first I thought that it was just the 'flu, but the test proved me wrong. 

I told Paul and he was thrilled, he always wanted a family, at least that was what he told me. But soon his behaviour started changing and he drank more then he ever had before. Then one night I came home and somehow he had heard that I had had some lesbian relationships, I still don't know who told him. At that time I was four months pregnant. He started screaming and he became violent. He beat me up, I screamed at him to let me go for the sake of his child and he asked me whether I thought that he would raise a child from a hooker. He was so unreasonable, the hard work and the pregnancy had worn me out and I wasn't able to avoid his punches for long. Within seconds I was on the floor screaming for mercy. 

End flashback 

Catherine was shocked I could see it in her eyes. "When, when did this happen?" 

"About four years ago." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "My baby would be almost four." 

"Four but then…" She wasn't able to say anything when my story hit her totally.

"Yeah, right before I came here." I whipped away some tears. "It all happened a couple of weeks before Grissom called. It was the only way out and I took it. I left everything behind me. Not that there was much left." 

"You must have been going through hell, why didn't you say anything?" She was still holding me in her arms. 

"Who, Cath. Who could I have talked to?" I sighed and sat back up, breaking her embrace. "My old friends abandoned me when they heard what happened. They didn´t believe me when I told them what happened. I came here and only knew Grissom, and he is socially handicapped."

"I didn't want to talk to any of the guys and besides that Warrick didn't trust me. Nicky and Greg, well you know what I mean. And then you Catherine although I was interested in you from the first time I lay eyes on you, it didn't mean that I could tell you. You hurt me when you bitched me around, how could I trust you?" 

"Sara, I'm so sorry." Catherine was crying, and this time it was me who hugged her. 

"Don't worry about it Catherine, you where keeping your distance and that made it easier on me." 

"You know what the problem is, I thought that I had managed to give the loss a place in my life. It still hurts but I managed to forget about the details. But this week with Ryan, It brought it all back. I managed to keep away from kids as much as possible, but Ryan he's different." Tears rolled down my cheeks, Catherine wiped away my tears. 

Somewhere between the crying and my story we must have fallen asleep. I woke up several hours later, lying on the couch still in Catherine's embrace. A blanket covered us and I was surprised to see a note on the table. 

_Cath, Sara_

_I took Lindsey to school and told her that the two of you had called me to take her. I was worried because you didn't call me. But I guess that there where some really important things that you had to discuss. _

_Love Jenn_

I smiled. what more could you ask for then a sister like Jenn? Catherine was so blessed. Jenn and Cath were so close, and whenever Cath needed someone to take care of Lindsey, she just had to ask her sister. But now I knew that I had someone like that too, I had Catherine. 


	9. Decisions

**Chapter 9**

**Decisions**

Catherine woke me up a while later. "Could you please move your head, because otherwise I won't be able to move my arm ever again." 

"I'm sorry, babe." I quickly brush my lips against hers, before I sat up leaning against the cushions. "Did you sleep alright?" I ask her while I brush away a stray lock of hair. 

"Yeah I did, but I kind of forgot about Lindsey." She said while she pointed at the note on the table. 

"I know, I read it when I woke up earlier, but it was too late already and I figured that you needed the sleep." 

"Well I wasn't the only one who needed it, you cried until you finally fell asleep from exhaustion."

I gave her a small smile. "Thanks for listening to me."

"Well why wouldn't I listen to you? I can't really say that my past is clean, can I?"

"Nope, but at least you never made a secret out of it." I sighed. The more I had kept secret the harder it got to live a normal life. I made it all too damn hard on myself and on the ones that I love and that matter to me. 

Cath replied "No I didn't, but that is because Gil was there for me and he pulled me out. He was my mentor, he knew what I had been going through and it's like I always say. Never regret, don't look back. You have to go forward not back. And I know that that sounds really hard, but it's the way I live my life." 

There was an odd silence we where both thinking deeply about the things that were said. Catherine broke the silence when she asked me; "Did you tell your parents?" 

"About the miscarriage, yeah they know, but they where pretty clear about what they thought about it. They didn't believe that Paul would do something like that." 

"They didn't believe you? Do you still talk to them?" 

"Nope they didn't believe it. I still talk to my mother every once in a while on the phone, but I haven't seen them since I've come here. I haven't talked to my father; he completely shuts me out. Ever since he found out that I'm gay."

"Have you told your mother about us?" 

"No, I haven't told them because I know what their reaction will be like and I have been there and done that and I don't know if I wanna go back there again. I have been so depressed, I can't go back there. I have been suicidal and it's a damn long way to get back from something like that."

"Well, why don't we pay them a visit sometime, so that we can show them how happy you are. Considering that you are happy with me?" Catherine said while she smiled. 

"Whatever Cath, you just want to hear that I love you." 

"Okay, I admit, but I just love to hear that from you. So what do you say? Shall we visit them?"

"They'll freak out when I come home and bring you and Lindsey with me. And tell them that I'm -no offence- living together with a woman eight years older than me, and her daughter. God forbid that they ever find out about your previous profession and marriage. Somewhere along the line my parents thought that conventional families are the best you know those where the male is a little older then the woman and yada yada yada… They'll go ballistic."

"Well maybe they should. It has been almost four years since you last saw them. Things can change. Why don't you give them a chance? I know what it's like to lose a family. I don't speak to my mom, my dad isn't my dad and the one who is, well I framed him for murder. I only have my sister." 

"But why should I go to them, I did nothing wrong?"

"No you didn't but apparently you're both stubborn and if you don't go there nothing will ever change, maybe they'll accept it and maybe they won't but at least you tried and that is what counts. And the longer you wait the harder it gets."

"I'll think about it, but right now we better get ready to pick up Lindsey." Catherine blinked at the clock, and saw that it was in fact almost time to pick her daughter up. 

We both got up and put some make up and clean clothes on and in a record time we were seated in the car driving towards Lindsey's school. I put on my sunglasses as we got out of the car and we walked towards the fence that separated the school premises from the road. Lindsey came out as one of the first children. 

"Hi Mom, hi Sara. Mom, my teacher wants to talk to you." Lindsey looked guilty as sin while she said it. 

"Oh Linds, not again what was it this time." Lindsey was just inspecting her shoes while Catherine walked towards the entrance. When she finally noticed that Lindsey and I where still standing by the fence. "Linds, Sara follow me." she demanded as she pushed her sunglasses up into her hair. I had no idea what I had to do with it but I followed Lindsey.


	10. Before it’s too late

**Chapter 10**

**Before it's too late**

Catherine stepped into Lindsey's classroom and greeted Lindsey's teacher. "Miss Willows, nice to see you." 

"Miss Donahue, Lindsey told me that you wanted to see me?" 

"Please call me Caran. Yes, I wanted to see you. There have been some problems with Lindsey. A little while back we called you because we caught her fighting. Defending her father against some rumours that some kids where spreading. Well things got better after that, but there have been some rumours and I'm afraid that there will be more fighting if we don't do anything. I had to stop Lindsey twice this week. And today I had to remove her from class because she wouldn't stop."

"What rumours are you talking about?" Catherine said while she gave Lindsey a glance. I was waiting in the hallway, and from where I was standing I could see Catherine and Lindsey. But I hadn't seen Lindsey's teacher. 

"Well there are some rumours that you are living with another woman." Caran admitted uncertainly. 

"As a matter a fact I am, she standing in the hallway waiting for us." Catherine turned around and waved at me. Damn I wish I could disappear, I stepped into the classroom. 

"Hi, I'm Sara Sidle."

"I'm Lindsey's teacher, Caran Donahue." 

"What I wanted to talk about is that some kids in class have been bullying Lindsey behind my back. Lindsey didn't say anything to me. I just found out last week when some kids had her cornered in the hallway. I was walking towards this classroom when I heard them. I asked Lindsey and she told me that it was nothing. So I kept an eye on her but I can't really do anything if se doesn't tell me what's going on." 

"She didn't say anything to me either. Sara?" Catherine asked while she watched me, I shook my head. 

"Lindsey why didn't you say anything?" Catherine asked Lindsey with a pained expression on her face. 

"Because you're so happy and I don't want to see you cry. And it is better once I'm home."

"But Lindsey, you can't let other children put you down because of something that you can't help or change. Lindsey, honey don't let them bully you, you should have told me or at least anyone."

"Well Miss Willows that was what she was doing. She was standing up to the other children defending you and Miss Sidle telling the other kids that she had never been happier in her life before."

"Thank you for telling me, Caran. I'll talk to Lindsey, but please tell me if there is anything."

~*~

We decided to go to the park, with Lindsey. It was a nice day and the sun was shining, we bought some ice creams and sat down on one of the benches. Catherine and Lindsey talked for a while and Lindsey promised that she would talk to someone when she was bullied again or when she had another problem. Catherine and I where still seated at the bench while we watched Lindsey on the swings. 

"Cath?"

"Hmm," She turned her head and watched me intensely. "What is it?" 

"I have been thinking about our conversation. And I think that you're right, if I don't take the first step then no one will and I will probably regret it when it is too late." 

"Ok, maybe we can get some last minute tickets for this weekend. That is if you want me to go with you?" 

"I would really like that, but what about Lindsey, I don't think that it would be a good idea to bring her with us."

"No I think that you're right about that, but I'll ask Jenn; she won't mind taking Linds for the weekend." 

"C'mon let's go home." Catherine said while she stood up, she held her hand out to me and I grabbed it while I stood up. Catherine waved at Lindsey while we proceeded our way back to the car still holding hands. Catherine opened the backdoor and Lindsey climbed into the car. Catherine closed the door behind her daughter and quickly kissed me before she made her way around the car and got in on the drivers side. 

"Sneaky!" I said while I hopped into the car. Catherine just grinned and started the car. 

"Oh, I know." She answered teasingly.


	11. I can´t live in the past, I need the fut...

**Chapter 11**

**I can't live in the past I need the future**

Catherine called Jenn as soon as we got home and she immediately agreed in taking Lindsey for the weekend. 

"Sara? Can you call the airline for tickets and I'll start dinner?" She asked me while she put down the phone.

"Well as long as you don't put meat in that food, it's alright with me." I called the airport and got some tickets for the Saturday morning flight to San Francisco. Half an hour later, we sat down at the table and ate our dinner. We cleaned the table and dishes and took Lindsey to Jenn. 

~*~

We were all waiting in the break room for Grissom to hand us some new assignments. Catherine and I were talking softly on the couch while Nick and Warrick where yelling toward the television screen which was showing a football match. 

Minutes later we where joined by Grissom. "Catherine, Warrick, I got a suicide at the Mirage for you and" he said while he turned towards Nick, who was still taken by the view on the television. "Nick, Nicky you and Sara are with me on a double murder." Nick still didn't react until I gave him a punch in the shoulder. "Hey pretty boy are you coming." 

"What? Oh yeah I'm coming." He said while he quickly followed me. 

~*~

Saturday morning, 

McCarran Airport. Las Vegas 

I breathed in and out in order to get my nerves back in check.

"Sara? Are you afraid of flying?" Catherine asked me, sitting besides me in the airplane that would take me home. 

"Afraid, that is kind of an understatement, I'm petrified." I said while the plane slowly moved towards the take off. I grabbed Catherine's hand and held it in mine. 

"Nothing will happen as long as you don't forget to breathe." Catherine told me with a reassuring smile. While I let go off the air that I was apparently holding back. 

"Oh yeah breathing, that would be smart." I laughed nervously, Catherine thought that it was because of my fear of flying. However, there was something else that made me more nervous then the whole flying thing. 

After a couple of minutes, the plane steadied itself and I calmed down a little. " Can you give me my bag?" I asked Catherine, as she opened the compartment that held our bags. Catherine was watching me intensely while I was searching for something in my bag. When I finally found what I had been searching for. 

"I wanna give you this, I bought it with Linds a while back. But I was kind of waiting until the right moment." I whispered while I handed Catherine a little package. "I just want to tell you that whatever happens this weekend, I will always love you and my heart belongs to you. No matter how hard this weekend will be or whatever my parents think about me, about you and about us." 

"Sara! You didn't have to do that I already knew." Catherine squealed when she opened the box. It revealed a beautiful golden ring with a twinkling stone in the middle of the band. 

"Oh my god, it's beautiful." Catherine pulled me into a hug and kissed me. Some people around were watching us but neither of us cared. We were happy the way that we were, and that was all that mattered. I slipped the ring onto her finger and kissed her back. "Linds told me that you would love it." 

San Francisco International Airport 

"We need to rent a car. It will be faster and easier." We ended up in a queue and waited until it was our turn. I signed the papers and minutes later we were inside our car. 

"Do we have to make a hotel reservation?" 

"I don't know, my parents have a B&B so they will probably have the space, but I'm not sure if I want to stay there. It depends how they react." 

"Well, see, we can always make a reservation later today. Shouldn't be too hard it's a big city." 

"Whatever ever you want, sweetie. They are your parents. Just say the magic word and we leave." 

"Thanks." I said while I started the rental car. 

It was a short drive down to Tamalas Bay I showed Catherine some of the surroundings that where part of my youth. 

"Would you mind if we make a quick stop at the cemetery." I had been dreading to ask Catherine if she would mind. 

"No of course not, no problem."

"'cos ehm… I really wanna see Amy's grave. I haven't seen it since I left and I always drove by when I came here. I ehm… 'cos ehm I don't want to forget her." 

"Sara? Stop rambling!" Catherine said while she placed her hand down on my thigh. 

"I… I wasn't rambling." She said while she stared at the street in front of her. "Okay, maybe I was just a little."

"Sara, you've had your relationships in the past and I've had mine. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I understand, I go and see Eddie's grave every once in a while, that´'s more because of Linds. But hey I never heard you complain about it, so why would I?"

I smiled back at Catherine. She was the greatest person I'd ever met so loving and caring. 

We got out of the car and I bought some flowers at the little flower shop across the street. Ten white lilies just like I always did. I slowly walked up to the gates of the cemetery. Catherine was holding my hand to reassure me that she would be beside me no matter what. I stopped in front of a white stone. 

Ameilia Rose Jameson

15 – 5 – 1971 ~ 20 – 11 – 1988

You'll always be in our hearts, our little angel

"Everyone thinks that it was an accident, they don't know what really happened. Family and friends they have all been lied to. Amy's parents and brother they all keep this image up about how much they miss her." I said while I pointed at the gravestone. 

I knelt down in front of the stone and placed the lilies on the grave. A tear slid down my face as I remembered the afternoons that we spent together thinking about the future. We would go to the same college and university so that we could be together. We thought about becoming roomies so that no one would suspect anything. We could do whatever we wanted. She was so full of life, and so beautiful. 

I wiped away the tears but they just kept coming. "She must have been some kind of a girl." Catherine said while she knelt down beside me and rubbed my back. 

"Yeah she was, but now I have another great girl. And she needs my attention, I can't live in the past, I need the future."


	12. Hope

**_Chapter 12_**

****

**_Hope_**

"Well here goes nothing." I said while I pulled up in front of my parents B&B. "Hmm, it still looks the same as it was four years ago." I rang the bell and seconds later I was facing my mother for the first time in four years. She was stunned for a split second but immediately pulled me into a hug. "Sara! Sara honey, I'm so glad to see you." 

I heard the door behind my mother open and she immediately released her embrace. 

"Sara!" My dad's harsh voice sounded up behind us. 

"Mom, dad! I missed you." I said but inside the pain tore me apart. My mother's first reaction was precious, but in my dad's eyes I could still see the same anger.

 " So what is it this time, did you screw up in Vegas and decide that it was time to come home?" 

"No dad, no everything is fine in Vegas, I just wanted to see you and I wanted you to meet someone." My parents had both acted as if Catherine wasn't there, they were still in denial and this would be one hell of a weekend. 

"Hi, I'm Catherine Willows." Catherine said, as she offered my dad her hand. He just acted as if he didn't see it. My mother immediately reacted to save the situation. "Hi Catherine, I'm Marie and that is Dan. Nice to meet you."

Catherine sent my dad a dead glare. I knew that she hated it when someone didn't show any respect towards other people - she had come across those people more than once during her dancing career. People who didn't understand that an exotic dancer isn't a prostitute. My dad, he was still the same ol' homophobic bastard that he had been all these years ago. He could have been used to the idea by now. 

My mother showed Catherine the way to the living room and I sank down on the couch next to her. My dad sat down in the chair across the couch on the other side of the room. Even inside the house nothing had changed. I couldn't believe it, I was one of those people who changes the places of the furniture every once in a while. 

My mother joined us minutes later with coffee and cake. The silence was cold, ice cold, hanging between the four of us. My parents could guess why I brought Catherine with me, and I knew what their reaction would be like. 

"Why are you here, if you aren't coming back home?" My dad's voice ruptured the silence with his sudden question. 

"Because I wanted to see you again. And well, actually, I just want my parents back, the way that it was before. Before Amy…"

"Don't ever say the name of that slut again…" my dad shouted in an angry voice. 

"Dad, she wasn't a slut, I loved her just like I love Catherine. Why can't you understand that or accept it."

"Sara, that ain't love; that Amy girl forced you into these things. I can't imagine that my daughter wanted those things." 

"Why the hell did you think that I brought Catherine? I would really like it if my parents could meet the person that I love, the person that I'm spending my life with. And for your information, we love each other and we're living together. We have been for the since October, but I was dreading telling my parents about it. Because I already knew how you would react." 

"Ever since that day that Amy's brother caught us, ever since that day you've been hating me for everything that I am. You ignore me; you don't care if you don't see me for four years. Ever since the moment that you found out that I'm gay you have been in denial. Why can't you just understand that not everyone is like you; not even your own daughter? Not once in fifteen years have you showed me love. Not at my wedding, when I finally settled down with a man. When I lost my baby and you and mom visited me at the hospital. Mum was all loving and caring while you where standing in the door, watching me with those cold eyes. You have no idea how much this is hurting me, you just don't know what you're doing. Why can't you see that I'm happy; that I love Catherine?"

"'Cos it isn't ment to be this way, Sara."

"So many things aren't meant to be. That really is the lamest excuse for being homophobic I've ever heard." I sighed. "Mom, I'm sorry I really thought that things would have changed by now. But apparently they haven't, and how do you expect me to come back here, when I know that I'm not wanted here I hoped that you at least could accept my decisions in life." 

"Sara, why can't you just find a man, marry him and have children, like with Paul?"

"Paul, like with Paul. Yeah that all ended really well." My voice trembled. "I tried so hard to make it work with Paul, I even convinced myself that I loved him. And with one blow he made me lose everything I ever loved." 

I stormed out of the room, out of the house. I needed to get out of there; I was suffocating in that house, not able to breathe. I sat down in the car, fighting against the tears, I would not show them how much they hurt me. 


	13. Some things never change …

**_Chapter 13 _**

****

**_Some things never change_**

Catherine's POV

I was stunned, sad and furious, my mind was a huge turmoil of thoughts. I didn't know what to think, what to say, how to react. During the whole conversation, I noticed that Sara's mother was in an abusive relationship. Maybe she wasn't abused physically but she sure as hell was mentally abused. The look in her eyes as soon as she opened the door, the way that she had greeted Sara. The pain in her eyes was replaced by love, happiness and relief to see her daughter again after almost for years. That all changed back the minute Sara's dad showed up.

Sara's dad was unbelievable; he was rude and angry, just because his daughter was into girls. The way that he treated his daughter made some pieces of the puzzle fall into the right place. And I knew that I was guilty too, her dad made her feel like she was nothing. He didn't care about the things that she had achieved in life, and I had made her feel like that too. When she first came to CSI, I was mad because Grissom brought in this girl to do the internal investigation, on Warrick regarding Holly Gribb's dead. I'd treated her like shit, and I did the same when she couldn't find Eddie's murder although I knew that she'd done all she could. I made her feel like she was nothing, like I didn't care about her. And all that time she had been in love with me. 

Sara's dad was screaming in anger at his daughter, his harsh voice making me come back to reality. He was calling Amy a slut, and he said that she'd forced his daughter into that relationship. He was so unreasonable, why didn't he just see how happy Sara was? These past couple of months had been so great, she had changed so much in every aspect. Then he started to mention Paul, and their so-called perfect marriage according to her dad. Sara just blew up I could see the anger in her eyes. The clenching of her jaw and her knuckles were white just emphasised the control she was keeping over her anger. Her dad started talking about the way that she screwed things up. Sara couldn't take it any more, she jumped up and gave her dad a dead glare. Then she walked out of the room; her reaction blew me away. It took me a while to come to senses. 

I stood up; "Apparently some things never change!" 

I slammed the door behind me and walked towards the car. Sara was sitting behind the steering wheel gazing straight ahead down the street. I walked around the car and opened the door. "Sara, please give me the keys, I don't want you driving like this." I pleaded with her as I tried to get some sort of a response. But she didn't move, she didn't do anything. I gently touched her shoulder and pleaded once more. She finally got up and handed me the keys. I knew at this point that Sara had made up her mind; whatever happened in the future would be up to Sara's parents. 

I drove off as soon as we where both buckled up. Only to stop at a hotel once we where back in San Francisco. I parked the car and we walked into the hotel lobby. 

We were waiting at the desk for a clerk. Finally, one came up to us. 

"Can I have one room please?" I said while I handed him my credit card. 

"One room?" He asked in surprise, watching Sara and me intently. 

"One room, I believe that I asked for one, and make that one with a king-size bed." The clerk looked shocked, which made me smile. He blushed when he gave me my credit card back. 

Minutes later we arrived finally in our room. We were both exhausted, we had a long and emotional day. Sara collapsed on the bed and pulled the blanket on top of her. I sat down next to Sara and rested my hand on top of the blanket; I could feel her body tremble with need under the heap of blankets. 

"Sara, are you okay?" I was concerned; I didn't know how this would affect her. "Sara, please talk to me?" I pleaded with her she hadn't sat a single word since we left her parents house. I pulled away the blanket and it revealed Sara's tear streaked face. She was falling apart inside; the pain was evident. We had worked so hard to break down the walls that Sara had built around herself. It had made her vulnerable, but the positive reactions from our closest friends had made her more confident and now everything was ruined, torn apart. I would take lots of courage for her to trust people. I leaned down and kissed her as I positioned my body next to hers I took her in my arms. I listened to her sobs until they finally subsided and she drifted off into a restless sleep. I on the other hand couldn't sleep. My mind kept running over today's events. 


	14. Insecure

**Chapter 14**

**Insecure**

I woke up in the middle of the night, shivering from the cold. I must have fallen asleep, sometime during the night, on top of the sheets. I let go of Sara and moved towards the bathroom. I leant against the sink as I looked at myself in the mirror. I doubted if we did the right thing. If I did the right thing by telling Sara that, she should make things up with her parents. Maybe I shouldn't have brought up the topic. I sighed heavily. I walked back into the room as I slowly undressed and crawled under the blankets.

Sara's POV

I woke up as the sun hit my face. I could feel Catherine's body behind me her arm still wrapped around me I smiled. I moved her arm and got up from the bed. A minute later the hot water was pouring down my back. I heard the door behind me open and within a split second I felt her hands on my back. She leaned down and kissed my neck. She started to massage my shoulders and I could felt them relax with every movement that her hands made on my skin. 

I moaned softly, and turned around as I pulled Catherine into my arms. "What would I do without you?" 

"Stand under the shower alone, I guess." She answered with a smirk. 

We both laughed; "Yeah probably…" 

We started kissing and soon hands were exploring each other's body. 

"You know what's funny? I've been alone for so long and now I'm living with you and Linds and I can't remember what it was like before when there was no one to come home too." 

"Hmm, but that is a good thing right?" Catherine asked while she continued attacking my body with small kisses and bites.

"Of course it is." I kiss her back. "Do you even need to ask?"

"Nah, don't need to, but I like to hear it from you." She smiled from ear to ear. "I know what you mean, after Eddie it has always been Linds and me. Feels good to have some one else in my life again." Catherine grabbed my hand and stepped backward out of the shower as she pulled me with her. She wrapped one of the towels around me and the other one around herself.

~*~

Back in bed, we talked for a while, until silence settled upon us, neither sure what to say next. It wasn't an unpleasant silence but it was weird. I felt like breaking it when Catherine watched me silently as if she was trying to read my mind. She lifted herself onto one arm and moved closer to me. She moved a strand of hair behind my ear and smiled. The blanket slowly moved down her shoulder uncovering her beautiful body. 

I was leaning in to kiss her when Catherine stopped me. She never stopped me if I wanted to kiss her, well not unless there was a reason, a really good reason. But all I could see shimmering through her eyes was an insecure look.


	15. A real family

**Chapter 15**

**A real family**

The insecurity in her eyes made me wonder; made me insecure. This was it. She was breaking up with me. She didn't want me anymore. 

"Don't you want me anymore, oh god that's it!" 

Catherine's POV

All I could see was insecurity in her eyes, turning into fear. 

"Sara stop! Don't be so damn anxious, we will make it together. I told you that I would be here for you; I told you that I love you. What more do you need? I stopped you because we need to talk about what happened yesterday. Not about us, cause there is no doubt in my mind about us." 

Sara's POV

I sighed in relief; I knew that it was stupid to think that Catherine wouldn't want me anymore. But I'm so damn insecure and confused. 

"Sara, I told you that Lindsey and I see you as family. Maybe we will never be able to be a real family, but it's the feeling that matters and not what anyone else thinks. We do not need the approval of your parents. They rather see you with a bastard then with someone you love, that is just wrong. The way that we feel about each other and how much we care is what makes us a family, baby. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, well not without you anyways." 

I smiled knowing that she really meant what she said.

"I don't want to talk about it, you were there; you've seen how they reacted. And this was their last chance; I'm not going there anymore. If they want to talk to me they have to come to me. Just let me handle this my way."

"Your way? What is your way of handling something like this? You have this anger and sadness built up inside ready to blow up. A little spark will be enough to set it off. You've been working with me for three years and I always knew that there was something, I just didn't know what it was. You have been walking around with this for so many years and you never said a word to anyone. I can understand that you didn't tell me because you were afraid of my reaction. But you could have told Grissom, you've known him for over ten years. You know that he doesn't judge people."

"We've been together for six months and still you didn't tell me. And if it wasn't for Ryan I probably would have never known."

"I know that I don't talk about these things, but it makes it all a little easier when no one knows, no one will ask you how you're doing. No one reminds you of your past. It's easier but the pain doesn't go away." Tears were stinging in my eyes. 

We talked for hours. 

"Cath I have made a decision, I will call my parents and tell them that they should accept me and you as a couple, if they don't accept us then that will be the last thing that they hear from me and I won't bug them anymore. If they want to contact me they know where to find me." I sighed; "I'm closing this chapter of my life, once and for all."

"Okay it's your choice I guess." 

I nodded my head while I grabbed my cell phone, and called my parents house to settle this once and for all. 


	16. Candle lit dinner

**Chapter 16**

**Candle lit dinner**

I hung up the phone, and tears started to flow down my cheeks. "No matter how much they hurt you, you still want them to be proud of you, and they are still your parents. And even I have pleasant memories of my parents." Catherine moved closer to me and wrapped her arms around my body, pulled me back into her warm embrace and planted some gentle kisses at the base of my neck. 

"It doesn't matter how much you rebel against your parents you still want them to be proud of what you achieve." 

"I know. I can't understand why they can't accept things the way they are, I'm not changing because they can't handle the truth. I've tried that and it didn't make me happy." I answered while I turned and looked deeply into Catherine's blue eyes. 

"Me neither." Catherine said while she planted a kiss on my lips. 

"Do you remember when we where at Lindsey's school? When I heard that Lindsey defended you, us, and our relationship. That really gave me a rush of love and acceptance. I have to admit that I was proud of her." 

"I know what you mean, but I can't tell Lindsey that. Because I would tell her that it's okay when you fight for a good cause. Did you know that that was the second time that she was caught fighting. About a year ago she was caught when someone said that it was only right that Eddie was murdered. Eddie was a bastard, but he never did anything to Lindsey. He knew that I would kill him if he even tried. That was the only reason I allowed him to be with her. He was a good father and he knew that I wouldn't allow him to see my daughter if he turned up drunk or anything. And the fact that he could do that for Linds makes him a good dad to her and that is what counts in the end." 

Catherine let go of her embrace. "C'mon girl, let's get dressed and have a nice candle lit dinner somewhere. I saw a great place one block down the street." 

~*~

Half an hour later we where teasing each other in front of the mirror. Trying to get some space to adjust make-up and to do our hair. 

"You know you never have these kind of struggles with a man!" Catherine exclaimed frustrated when I pushed her aside once again. I sent her a gap toothed grin and tried to straighten my hair. 

"Nope you won't have these struggles, but the sex isn't half as good either." I said with a huge grin. 

"Well you're right about that, are you almost ready or what?" She asked while she leaned against the door.

~*~

The elevator took us to ground level and we walked out hand in hand. I saw that the clerk at the front desk was observing us intently and I just couldn't let this chance go by. I stopped Catherine and pulled her closer to me. I started kissing her in front of the clerk. I stepped forward and pulled Catherine with me as we walked out through the revolving doors I could see the clerks face turn beet red within a split second as I sent him a smile. 

We walked down the street, talking softly to each other until we reached the restaurant that Catherine had seen. It was a small dark restaurant with a warm feel to it. I held the door open and let Catherine enter. She asked for a table for two and the waiter showed us the way to a small table in the back. 

We sat down as the waiter lit the candle. I looked across the table towards Catherine, the flames where dancing on her face. Her beauty was the only thing that I could see. Catherine looked up at me, the flame reflecting in her eyes she smiled. The look in her eyes made me want her even more. I moved my hand towards Catherine's over the table and just held hers in mine. 

The waiter appeared at the table again and we ordered dinner. We talked for a while until dinner was served. We both ate in silence, I was thinking about my life, my relationship and the long way that I had come to find the love of my life. 


	17. College Girls

**Chapter 17**

**College girls**

The flame of the candle danced over Catherine's face as we talked to each other with soft voices, discussing the plans for the flight back in the morning. Catherine placed her hand on mine and rubbed it with her thumb. I felt like a hormonal driven teenager, not able to think straight or to concentrate on what she was saying. Visions of Catherine's naked body flashed through my mind, together with the things that I could do to make her moan my name. The flame of the candle reflected in her eyes and that turned me on even more. 

"Can we go now?" I blurred out without thinking about it. I couldn't stand sitting here anymore. I needed to get out, get back to the hotel. The tension was just too much. Catherine looked up into my eyes and smiled, she waved for the waiter. I'm sure that she felt the same way. 

The walk back to the hotel took to long for me and having her this near next to me was almost unbearable.

We walked into the hotel and entered the elevator. We both realized that we were alone and I started kissing Catherine, the kiss quickly deepened and if it wasn't for the cough that interrupted us we would have missed our floor for sure. We passed the man standing in front of the open doors and walked down the hallway laughing like two college girls. Catherine opened the door and barely had time to close the door before I pushed her against the wall and attacked her with small nips and kisses. I looked up into Catherine's eyes, darkened by the arousal; her breath was racing. Catherine kissed me on my mouth, trailing a track down to the base of my neck. I pushed my body against Catherine's and spread her legs with mine, the movements of our bodies' getting faster until Catherine let out a soft moan right before she bit the skin on my shoulder. I winced at the pain, but it also aroused me more. 

"Sara, oh my god." Catherine moaned breathlessly. I felt her hot breath against my flushed skin. I realized that we were still fully clothed and that the wall wasn't the most comfortable place to do these kind of things. I felt Catherine's hands slip between our bodies, fumbling with the buttons of my jacket, seconds later it dropped to the floor closely followed by my blouse. Catherine pushed me away and watched me with dark eyes. She grabbed my hands and let me to the bed in the middle of the room. She let herself fall onto the bed and dragged me with her. We both landed on the bed and immediately started undressing each other, uncovering more bare skin every minute until we were both naked. Sara moved on top of Catherine, straddling her upper legs. 

Catherine's POV

Toned, firm, supple, taut; all those words came to mind when I felt Sara's body on mine. I slowly ran my hands down Sara's toned back until I reached her bottom and pulled her closer into mine. Her face hovered above mine and she leaned in to kiss me, a hungry, demanding kiss. I wanted more, I needed more, I reached up and my hands entangled in Sara's hair as I continued to kiss her. Sara leaned her body down on me as she traced my jaw line with a finger. Tracing it down my neck and onto my breast until she reached my hardened nipple, she massaged it with the softest touch I had ever felt. Her mouth slowly followed the way down, as she reached the other nipple she slowly sucked it into her mouth using her tongue to arouse me even more. My back arched as I came, my breath racing as I called her name. We lay next to each other on the bed trying to catch our breaths. Even though I was the one who had been pushed over the top somehow I recovered quicker then Sara and I moved closer to her. 

Sara's POV

I had my eyes closed but I felt the movement next to me, and finally I felt Catherine's hot breath on my flushed skin, which was covered with sweat. Our flushed bodies moving in the same rhythm, planting kisses, taking nips and teasing each other. Bringing each other to heights we had never been to before; over and over again until finally we fell asleep in each other arm. 

~*~

The flight back home was nice, just some looks, touches and smiles and we both knew what we felt or thought. Catherine couldn't wait to see Lindsey. She had called her just before we boarded on the plane. Lindsey and Jenn would be waiting at the airport in Las Vegas to pick us up. We'd bought Lindsey a present at the airport, we'd promised Lindsey to bring her something from San Fran, but we never really came around to it. A smile played on my mouth when I thought about last night. We landed safely at McCarran Airport in Vegas and Lindsey ran towards us as soon as we came into the arrival hall. Catherine took her in her arms and they hugged like they had been apart for a long time. Jenn walked towards me and hugged me. 

"Hey hun, how did it go?"

"Not good, we won't be seeing my parents for Christmas." I answered with a soft, but painful chuckle, trying to remain composed. 

"Ow Hunny, I'm sorry." she said while she hugged me again. 

"Don't worry about it, I'll be alright, I have Catherine and you, Linds and the guys. What more do I need." I shrugged. 

"That's right and don't you forget that. You got your family right here."

"Thanks." I whispered my voice thick with tears. 

"C'mon," Catherine said as she placed her arm around my shoulder and gave me a peck on my cheek "let's go home and get some sleep before we have to go to our job." 

Lindsey wrapped her arms around my neck and I took her from Catherine. "Hey little one? How have you been?" 

"I'm fine, did you bring me a present?" She asked while her big blue eyes watched me intently.

"As a matter a fact we did, Linds, but you just have to wait until we get home."

"Can we go home now?" She asked with an innocent smile. 

I put Lindsey back down on her feet. "No we can't Linds, we already discussed that. We are taking the two of you out to dinner before we drop you off at home. 


	18. A new case

**Chapter 18**

**A new case**

"What?" Jenn asked with an innocent smile, "Oh, I just want to make sure that the two of you eat enough, you can't live on love." She added with a smile that was even more innocent. Catherine smacked her on her arm in mock anger. 

"Shut up!" We both said in unison, as we made our way to the parking lot. We got into the car and Jenn drove downtown and parked the car in the parking lot of a small but companionable diner. 

We sat down in one of the corners on a corner bench. The waitress approached our table as we where reading the menu. We ordered dinner and ate while we talked about all kind of things. An hour later Jenn dropped us off at our home and took Lindsey with her. We slept for a couple of hours before we had to go to work. 

~*~

Catherine's POV

"Hey girls," Nick greeted us when we entered the break room. 

"How was your trip?" Warrick asked while he handed us both a mug of coffee. I shook my head in silence, not wanting Nick or Warrick to ask any further if Sara didn't want to answer their questions. I could see in Warrick's eyes that he understood my silent plea. 

"It was fine." Sara answered plainly. 

No one asked any more questions and I was relieved, I knew how hard it was for Sara to talk to anyone about her parents. Especially now I had met them I could imagine what she must feel like when anyone asked her about her parents. 

Grissom opened the door to the break room and walked in with some case files. He motioned everyone to sit down at the table while he greeted Sara and me. We sat down while Grissom turned and walked back for the door he came back several minutes later closely followed by Greg, Archie and Dr. Robbins. 

Grissom sat down at the head of the table and put down his glasses while he rubbed the bridge of his nose. He placed back his glasses. "We have a difficult case, a series of hate crimes." He sighed, "I don't know how to say this so I just will. There have been two murders on woman, a gay couple to be exact and so far it appears to be a hate crime." 

"We need all the help we can get for this case. Archie and Greg this case has a top priority. Catherine, Sara whenever you go out I want the two of you wearing a bulletproof vest at all times. Even if you aren't working on this case." 

"Oh, but I'm working on this case. This is no different to any other case, you don't pull us of cases that involve woman haters do you?" Sara exclaimed with a new found spirit, I knew for a fact that if she laid hands on the guy who murdered these woman that she would grill him. Anger and rage flickered in her eyes. 

"Count me in too, this is just another case." I answered, Grissom watched us both intently, and I knew that if we as much as stepped out of line once that he would take us off the case. I also knew that I needed to be there to control Sara. Her built up anger at her father could cause problems in this particular case. 

"Okay then. Two women were killed at the apartment that they shared. Catherine, Sara I want the two of you processing the scene, Brass is waiting for the two of you there. Greg, stand by to process any samples that come in. The police were warned by an anonymous phone call about this murder. The tape should arrive here soon, Archie start processing it."

"Can we go?" I asked Grissom.

He nodded and Sara and I got up. 

Chapter 19 

**Search for the evidence**

We stepped into the corridor, and I knew that I had to talk to Sara about this. I knew what she could be like when she was mad about something or someone that made her feel diminished, that degraded her because she is gay. I lay my hand on her shoulder and instantly she turns around to face me. 

"What is it, babe?" She asks innocently, but I know her well enough to know that she knows why I stopped her. 

"Sara are you sure that you'll be able to do this?" I sigh, "I mean, I'm not doubting your work, but well with all that happened, it's okay to say no."

"I know, I can do this, don't worry. It's like any other case." Sara looked at me, I decided to leave it there and see how this would develop. Sara took my hand in hers and planted a kiss onto it in a gentle gesture. "Don't worry we can do this." 

She smiles before we continue our way out of the building towards the car. "Wait a minute." She says before she goes back to the locker room. I follow her as she retrieves her bulletproof vest from her locker. 

"We have to wear them, remember." I sent her a small smile; those things weren't really comfortable to wear, but we had no choice. 

~*~

We arrived at the scene, and it was obvious that Brass hadn't expected to see us there. He sighed before walking over to us; he would rather have seen one of the guys. 

"Catherine, Sara?" He wasn't able to hide the surprise in his voice. "Grissom informed you about the case details didn't he?" 

"Yes, he did. What can you tell us?" I asked.

"Well the usual, I was the first person on the scene and I made sure that everyone stayed outside."

Sara turned around and walked towards the front door. She walked past it and I couldn't see her anymore. I nodded at Brass and followed Sara. I was a little scared of what the scene might look like. I could tell myself that this was just another case, but I know that it will be different. That it will be harder and that I will need to talk to Sara about this case. Just to ease my mind and to help her. 

Sara is still standing in the hallway waiting for me as I climb the stairs. "Ready?" she asks softly as I walk up to her. 

I nod and together we enter the room. My breath stuck in my throat for a second as I lay eyes upon the scene. A quick glance at the room made clear that both women died a horrible death. One was seated in a chair her arms tied behind her back. She had been killed by a single shot to the chest. A cloth filled her mouth and duct tape was covering the lower part of her face. Her tank top was ripped apart and the pieces were hanging around her breasts. 

The other woman was on the bed on her back. Her eyes facing the ceiling in a terrified look. She had been stabbed more then once, and also shot in the chest. Her clothes where ripped and her body had been tortured. 

Sara kneels down next to the bed and snaps some pictures. I move around the bed to see what she found. "What is it?" 

Sara bends down and retrieves something from her kit, before picking something up. I move in closer to see what she found as she holds up a cloth drenched in chloroform. She wrapped the cloth into a bag and started to take shots of the room and the victims. She bent down behind the woman seated on the chair. 

"Cath, can you help me?" she pointed at the woman's hands tied together with a piece of rope. "I need to snap a picture of the knot can you please hold it for me?" I bend down next to Sara and we were both sitting behind the chair when we heard someone enter the room. We were interrupted by a cough. Sara snapped the picture and I got up when she was ready. 

"Oh, hi David." He was still standing in the doorway when Sara got up, he always seems so nervous around us. I never really knew what he thought, he never talks much. He's mostly silently waiting until someone gives him an order and it doesn't matter who that someone is. 

"David, you can take the bodies, but can you make sure that the knot in the rope comes back to me. You never know what you find in a knot." 

"Yeah, sure no problem." David answers before he starts to move around in the room. 

We move around the room to search for more evidence. 


	19. Search for the evidence

Chapter 19 

**Search for the evidence**

We stepped into the corridor, and I knew that I had to talk to Sara about this. I knew what she could be like when she was mad about something or someone that made her feel diminished, that degraded her because she is gay. I lay my hand on her shoulder and instantly she turns around to face me. 

"What is it, babe?" She asks innocently, but I know her well enough to know that she knows why I stopped her. 

"Sara are you sure that you'll be able to do this?" I sigh, "I mean, I'm not doubting your work, but well with all that happened, it's okay to say no."

"I know, I can do this, don't worry. It's like any other case." Sara looked at me, I decided to leave it there and see how this would develop. Sara took my hand in hers and planted a kiss onto it in a gentle gesture. "Don't worry we can do this." 

She smiles before we continue our way out of the building towards the car. "Wait a minute." She says before she goes back to the locker room. I follow her as she retrieves her bulletproof vest from her locker. 

"We have to wear them, remember." I sent her a small smile; those things weren't really comfortable to wear, but we had no choice. 

~*~

We arrived at the scene, and it was obvious that Brass hadn't expected to see us there. He sighed before walking over to us; he would rather have seen one of the guys. 

"Catherine, Sara?" He wasn't able to hide the surprise in his voice. "Grissom informed you about the case details didn't he?" 

"Yes, he did. What can you tell us?" I asked.

"Well the usual, I was the first person on the scene and I made sure that everyone stayed outside."

Sara turned around and walked towards the front door. She walked past it and I couldn't see her anymore. I nodded at Brass and followed Sara. I was a little scared of what the scene might look like. I could tell myself that this was just another case, but I know that it will be different. That it will be harder and that I will need to talk to Sara about this case. Just to ease my mind and to help her. 

Sara is still standing in the hallway waiting for me as I climb the stairs. "Ready?" she asks softly as I walk up to her. 

I nod and together we enter the room. My breath stuck in my throat for a second as I lay eyes upon the scene. A quick glance at the room made clear that both women died a horrible death. One was seated in a chair her arms tied behind her back. She had been killed by a single shot to the chest. A cloth filled her mouth and duct tape was covering the lower part of her face. Her tank top was ripped apart and the pieces were hanging around her breasts. 

The other woman was on the bed on her back. Her eyes facing the ceiling in a terrified look. She had been stabbed more then once, and also shot in the chest. Her clothes where ripped and her body had been tortured. 

Sara kneels down next to the bed and snaps some pictures. I move around the bed to see what she found. "What is it?" 

Sara bends down and retrieves something from her kit, before picking something up. I move in closer to see what she found as she holds up a cloth drenched in chloroform. She wrapped the cloth into a bag and started to take shots of the room and the victims. She bent down behind the woman seated on the chair. 

"Cath, can you help me?" she pointed at the woman's hands tied together with a piece of rope. "I need to snap a picture of the knot can you please hold it for me?" I bend down next to Sara and we were both sitting behind the chair when we heard someone enter the room. We were interrupted by a cough. Sara snapped the picture and I got up when she was ready. 

"Oh, hi David." He was still standing in the doorway when Sara got up, he always seems so nervous around us. I never really knew what he thought, he never talks much. He's mostly silently waiting until someone gives him an order and it doesn't matter who that someone is. 

"David, you can take the bodies, but can you make sure that the knot in the rope comes back to me. You never know what you find in a knot." 

"Yeah, sure no problem." David answers before he starts to move around in the room. 

We move around the room to search for more evidence. 


	20. Bits and pieces of evidence

**Chapter 20**

**Bits and pieces of evidence**

We had collected every tiny bit of evidence and were on our way back to our car when we noticed Warrick and Nick searching the driveway and the grass at the front of the house. "Hey Nick, did Grissom put us all on the same case?"

"Yeah he did, nothing much came in tonight he's working one case solo. And besides that, the sheriff is on his throat because of this case. He's afraid of the reactions of the gay community." 

"Yeah, I figured something like that would happen." Catherine said admitted. "It surprised me that they allowed Sara and me to work this case, but now I see why. If it comes out in the press that two gay CSI's are working on this case the crowd probably silences. Which means less problems for the sheriff." 

"Anyway, we have some evidence for Greggo, see you later." I added while I pulled Catherine with me. Releasing the grip on her arm when I saw a van from the local news arrive. I knew that what we were doing was dangerous but I didn't want to provoke anything. 

We both got into the car and left the crime scene, an officer held up the yellow tape and we drove past it. 

~*~

Hours later we were still processing the evidence. Catherine was processing the blood spatter on the sheets, while I was searching for evidence in the knot. I had found a hair, but it didn't contain a hair tag.

Greg opened the door to the lab. "How are my ladies doing today?" he asked with a boyish smile on his face. 

"We're doing fine, Greg do you have anything for us or are you just entertaining us?" Catherine asked with an innocent smile. 

"Oh no, I would never bother the two of you without a good reason. I've tested the cloth and I can tell you that you were right, it's drenched in chloroform, nothing special there. However, there was a small spot on the cloth that looked like blood. So I processed it and I have DNA, but I haven't found a match, so give me something to compare it to and I'll be able to tell you more."

"Greg did you compare it with the DNA of the girls?" I asked, just to check. 

"Yep Doc Robbins gave me a sample of their blood." 

He put down the test results and saluted before leaving the lab, another one of his crazy gestures. Catherine examined the results. "Nothing special here." she mumbled before she put them back on the table.

"I'm going down to the morgue to see if Doc Robbins found anything on the victims." she says before she leaves me alone with my thoughts. I watch her walk down the corridor through the glass walls. 

I must have been staring through the glass for a while because next thing I knew I saw Catherine coming back; she opened the door and entered the room. She sat down next to me and opened the case file that she was holding in her hands. "I just came across Brass and he handed me this case file. The victims' names are; Jonatha Campbell, that's the dark haired woman on the bed and the other one is Simone Mitchell. They have been living there for the past six months and the neighbours say they are both lovely girls who wouldn't harm a fly, according to Brass. He talked to the neighbours at the scene. They were all devastated." She read on a little bit of information but decided that it wasn't worth mentioning and went on with the details that Dr. Robbins gave her. 

"They passed out from the chloroform, which made it easy for the perp to do whatever he wanted. Doc. Robbins thinks that the 'Mitchell' victim was the one who was killed last. The perp probably made her watch as he raped and murdered her girlfriend. He had stabbed both woman several times and shot the 'Campbell' victim with a nine mm. Doc Robbins' is trying to extract a mould from the stabbings, maybe we can find out what kind of a knife he used." 

~*~

That morning when they arrived home they both fell onto the bed exhausted. Almost too exhausted to take of their clothes and, they fell asleep holding on to each other. This case was really getting to both of them.


	21. Another murder

**Chapter 21**

**Another murder**

The phone rang and I picked it up while I was pushing Catherine away who was still kissing me. "Stop it." I whispered. 

"Hi Grissom." I answered when I heard his questioning voice on the other side of the line. 

"I'm not interrupting anything am I?" He asked. 

"You, nope never, let me guess another murder?"

Catherine's face dropped the minute that she heard the word murder. I knew that the mood was killed so it didn't matter whether we would go to work or not. Otherwise we would probably sit on the couch and watch some lame television program until we had to go into work. 

"We'll be there in twenty minutes." I answered Grissom's question before I hung up the phone. 

Minutes later we were in the car; the air was thick and no one had said a word since we had got there. I watched Catherine as I turned off the engine, her hands were resting on her legs. As she stared out of the window; I reached my hand out to her and tugged a strand of hair behind her ear, and gave her a reassuring stroke on her cheek. "We'll be fine." 

She turned and looked at me. "Yeah, I know we will." 

~*~

I handed Catherine a mug of coffee as Grissom entered the break room. "Oh good, you're here." He said with a soft voice, while he rubbed his temple.

"Migraine?" Catherine asked him and he nodded in silent response.

"Yeah, I didn't sleep much. Anyway, here is the address of the victims. Brass is already there and has the scene secured. 

"This case is taking it's toll on everyone. I'll be glad when we catch the bastard." 

"We'll process the scene a.s.a.p." I followed Catherine and we grabbed our kits before we headed to the scene. 

~*~

"So, here we go again." Catherine said with a weak smile as we passed the yellow crime scene tape. 

Brass greeted us and we could see that he wasn't too happy to see us. But lately that was normal, we didn't care. He had no problem with us when it was just one of us. He didn't know how to act when we were together on a case, especially this case.

"The scene is up the stairs, first door on the right, is has been secured. No one touched the bodies." 

We'd moved closer to the door when Brass called our names. 

"This scene is worse than the last one." He said, "Are you two sure that you can handle it? I can call Grissom and ask him to send Nick and Warrick." 

"No, we can manage." Catherine reassured Brass before she entered the house. 

~*~

The scene was worse than the last. Again two women, one tied to the chair and one on the bed. But this time the woman on the bed apparently wasn't dead when the killer left them. She had crawled towards her girlfriend and died on the edge of the bed, her hand reaching out towards her girlfriend. It was painful to see someone suffering like that and still thinking about someone else. It was hard to breathe, and tears stung behind my eyes. I knew that Catherine was feeling the same. Her grip on my arm had tightened the moment she saw the scene. 


	22. Tragedy hits full force

**Chapter 22**

**Tradegy hits full force**

A shrill sound filled the room, and we were both unwilling to move. The sound went on and on until Catherine moved and crawled over me and hit the alarm clock. We both sighed when the sound suddenly stopped. 

"Sara, we have to get up." Catherine mumbled her voice raw from the sleep. 

"I know, don't want to…." I mumbled back. 

"Miss Sidle, do you really want me to believe you don't want to catch bad guys today?" 

"Yes, I rather stay in bed with you until the others catch the bad guy." 

"Oh please Sara don't make me drag you to work, not today. Lindsey tries that routine on me every once in a while. You can ask her, it's never worked. I always get her to school someway even if it means the rough way…" Catherine added with a evil twinkle in her eye. We both broke down in laughter. 

"Oh Catherine, maybe I'll just stay in bed and wait until you let that rough routine loose on me…" I replied while I pulled the blanket over my body and turned on my side before I snuggled down and acted as if I wanted to go back to sleep again.

"Sara c'mon', I can't do this alone, it's too hard." She said softly before she broke down in tears. 

I was stunned; I had no idea what was going on. I never made her cry, not like this. I turned around and watched her; she seemed so small and fragile. I pulled her into a hug.

"What's wrong babe, please talk to me." I pleaded to her. 

Catherine pulled me closer, as she pushed her head into my shoulder. I stroked her hair and waited until she calmed down while I softly whispered soothing words to her. Minutes later her soft sobs subsided and she was able to talk. 

"I'm scared of losing you, I want to hold you through the night. Just wrap my arms around you, I want to know that you're beside me. But on the other hand I'm scared that anyone might see us and that we'll be the next victims. Sara, I'm so scared of losing you, all day while you slept I saw visions of you attacked by this guy every time I closed my eyes I could see it happen in different ways but the outcome was the same every time." She was crying again. "It was like last year, I was so scared. And every time I woke up again I had to reassure myself that you were still next to me and that you were breathing." 

"I can't do this alone. Everything came back to me, the fears that I had when we found you in those bushes beside the road. I was so afraid that I would lose you right there on that spot. And that was when we weren't together, just imagine how I feel right now."

"Cath, believe me, I know what it feels like… I do know what you mean. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." 

We both realized that we had to get going if we wanted to make it into work on time. We couldn't afford to be late, because Grissom would send out a search team if we didn't make it in time.


	23. Sara’s fears and wishes

Chapter 23 

**Sara's fears and wishes**

Nick's POV

For the third time that week Nick noticed that Sara seemed distracted. She was gazing in the distance, physically she was present, but mentally she seemed miles away. I had called her name several times and still she didn't react. Sara was sitting in one of the labs, evidence sprayed out onto the table in front of her. He moved in closer and put his hand on her shoulder while he once again called her name. 

"Sara?" She was startled when she felt my touch; she looked up at me completely unaware of the things that had happened in the past minutes. "Sara, what's wrong?" I asked worriedly. Ever since she came here we had been friends and I knew that something was bothering her and apparently that something bothered her a lot. 

"Hmm, what, nothing it's just this case and all…" She sighed quietly. 

"Sara, c'mon let's take a break and get something to eat in the diner." She silently nodded and followed me to the locker room. We retrieved our jackets from the lockers and walked back through the corridors. We passed one of the labs, and Catherine was leaning over a microscope investigating some evidence. She looked up when she heard us and waved at Sara and me. It was so good to see them both so happy, they have changed so much since they have been an item. 

~*~

We both sat down across from each other in one of the booths in the corner. A waitress walked up to our table and we both ordered something to eat. 

"So, what's wrong?" Nick asked after the waitress left us. 

"I erm, just erm…" she hesitated for a moment before she continued. "I'm afraid, afraid that something will happens and that I'll get a phone call telling me that something terrible happened." 

"But Sara, that possibility is always here in this line of work. I mean look at Holly Gribbs." 

"I know that Nick, but this is one of these cases that hits home too hard, and this time it's really hard to go on and act like it doesn't affect you. Catherine and I are in danger as long as we don't get this guy. This time it isn't just women who are possible victims, but also age, sexual preferences and being a gay couple living together; we have numerous things in common with the other victims, and besides that we work on the case. What would be more satisfying for a serial killer then to kill off the people who are after you? It isn't just fear, I'm petrified." Tears glimmer in her eyes. "You know, never in my life have I been so sure about anything. I would really like to show that to Catherine." 

I had been listening to Sara and I knew that she was right. I could understand what she meant but that last confession bombshell shocked me.

Sara's POV

"Show her, like marry her or something?" Nick asked hesitantly not sure if that was what I meant, I just nodded as a reply. 

"But Sar that's great, wow I never thought that you would want anything like that." 

"Well a girl can dream, can't she? It's not like anything will happen." I shrugged, pain probably evident in my eyes. 

The waitress interrupted is with our food and we waited until she was gone. Nick reached across the table and covered my hand with his. "Why wouldn't anything happen? You've come a long way Sara. Catherine loves you more then you can imagine. I see both of you everyday, and I've seen you grow so much."

"It's not that, it's more that we can't do it. I mean it's ridiculous, that in a city like Las Vegas these things aren't allowed but it's true. Everyone can elope and get married here except for gay couples who really love each other." I looked down at my plate and pushed the food around without eating anything. I couldn't believe that I was talking so easily about this to Nick. 

Nick stayed silent for a while, but I could see that he was thinking about everything that I'd told him.

"Sara can't you and Cath get married in San Francisco?" 

I nodded my head, not saying a word. He watched me just as silent with a weird look on his face. "But your parents live there?" 

"Let's just say that my parents don't agree with my lifestyle and my beliefs. They made that pretty clear." Nick nodded understanding, and I prayed that he would leave me alone and stop asking questions. 


	24. Nick's plan

**Chapter 24**

**Nick's plan**

"Sara do you have any idea what going on with Nick, he's been walking around a huge smile on his face?"

"Me? No I don't know what's going on." Sara answered distantly. 

"Hey, are you ready to go home and get some sleep?" I asked with a grin on my face. She looked up at me and reached up to kiss me. 

"Go home with you babe, anytime. Just say the magic word." 

"The magic word, I don't know the magic word." I pouted with a small voice and puppy dog eyes, which I knew, Sara couldn't resist. 

"Okay we're going home!" while she grabbed my hand and pulled me along with her until we almost bumped into Nick who rounded a corner.

"Just the person I needed to see." Nick exclaimed, exited. "Sara, can I talk to you?" 

"What like talk to me now? Can't this wait 'til, oh, I don't know, next shift?" 

I stepped in front of Sara crossing my arms before my chest in a mock defence. "Nicky, you know she's mine." I pleaded with him. 

"Cath I know that, I just need some advice from Sara." Nick repeated quickly.

"Need advice from Sara on what Nicky?" I asked him curiously. I wanted to know what this was all about 'cos it was more then obvious that he wanted to talk to Sara alone, which made me even more curious. 

"Cath, can I please borrow your girlfriend for a couple of minutes? I'll promise that I will bring her back unharmed."

"Oh Cowboy, she better be unharmed." I smiled. I knew I wouldn't get an answer if I begged for it, but I had my ways with Sara, I would find out somehow… 

"Just go home and I will be home very soon, Nick will give me a ride home, won't you Nicky?" Sara interrupted both of us. 

"Erm, yeah, sure, no problem." 

~*~

Sara's POV

I slide down into the bench at the cafeteria across the street from the CSI crime labs. Nick sits down across from me. 

"Sara, please don't get mad at me. But our conversation earlier caught me by surprise, really. I have never seen you like that before. And all I want is my lil' sis to be happy." He added with a nervous grin. 

"Nick, spill it. What did you do?" I thought for a couple of seconds. "Don't tell me you told Warrick or Greg. I'll kill you if you did." 

"No, no, Sara it's not like that, I would never do that. This is your moment, and you and Catherine should be able to tell this to the others; it's not my task to do that for you. I called my mother, she's a public defender in Texas and I asked her whether gay marriages are allowed in Texas."

He smiled thinking about it. "My mother asked me whether there was something that I wanted to tell her. I don't think she believed me at first when I told her that I was asking this for a friend."

"Why, Nick?" The anger was evident in my trembling voice. It sounded harsher then it was meant to. 

"Sara, please listen to me." Nick said while he reached his hand over the table and held mine in his. "I see you and Catherine everyday, you're my family now. Since we have been on this case, I've seen the two of you suffer. Every day a little more, and you have been holding up alright and I can only imagine what happens when you get home. All I have is what you told me about Catherine's breakdown. She's a strong woman and the fact that she breaks down like this only tells me that there are more things going on and I bet that you've broken down or at the very least are on the verge of breaking down. Don't fool yourself, everyone knows that it must be hard." 

I wanted to say something. But Nick held up his hand and stopped me before I even got the time to respond. 

"Listen to me." he said in a demanding tone of voice. "When you opened up to me this morning I knew that there was a reason for me to know this. I knew that I could help you and the way I see it you have two choices you can walk out of this conversation right now and go home. Or you can listen to me and think about what I'm about to tell you and make a choice after that. So what is it going to be?"

"I'm listening." I said with a voice nothing more then a whisper, my hands raised in a mock surrender.

"Okay then, I called my mother and explained the situation to her. She did some research and called me back. She said that gay marriages can be arranged in Texas, and that if you really wanted to go through with this, that you should give her a call. She would love to help you make arrangements and you could hold the wedding at the ranch." 

My mouth dropped to the floor while tears started to well up in my eyes. "Why, they don't even know who I am?" I asked almost crying.

"Nope, but my mom loves a party and she'll do anything to host one. Believe me, I have 5 sisters and a brother and she has hosted every wedding so far. And she keeps bugging me to bring home a girl. This way, at last, she'll leave me alone." He said with a chuckle. 

"Nick that is so sweet. Thank you." I said to him while I held his hand. "Thank you. Tell your mother that I will think about it. But that there are a couple of things that I need to do first. One of them is you taking me home."

~*~

I waved at Nick who drove off while fumbling with the keys to find the right one. I opened the door and hung up my jacket. The house was dark Lindsey was already off to school and apparently Catherine had gone to bed. I was a little disappointed but then again the conversation had taken quite a bit of the morning. I walked up the stairs and opened the door to our bedroom. I watched Catherine for a couple of minutes. She looked so angelic… 

AN: Okay I did research, God knows for how long. I've tried to find out whether or not gay marriages are allowed in several states of America. During my research I found out that they aren't allowed in Vegas (Nevada). Which I think is ridiculous because like I said before anyone can get married in Vegas. Anyways I have researched other states but I couldn't find a conclusive answer about Texas. So I decided to go on with the story and work out my plan. Don't flame me for this if I got things wrong, believe me I've tried. 


	25. Down to one

**Chapter 25**

**Down to one**

I knew what I wanted when I reached the bed. Slowly undressing and dropping the clothes onto the chair; I joined Catherine in the bed. I slid between the sheets, spooning her naked body. Catherine stirred in her sleep when she felt the warmth of my body against her skin. She smiled and by the lazy movements that she made I knew that she was waking up. 

"Hey babe." I whispered to her before kissing the curve of her neck. Catherine snuggles closer to me as I wrap my arms around her. 

"Missed you…" she says with a soft whisper. Then it hits her and she remembers why I wasn't there. "What did Nicky want?" 

"Nicky, oh, he has a new girlfriend and apparently this time she actually has a brain. So he asked me what kind of dates I like." I know it's a lame excuse but I hope that she will believe me and leave the topic alone. Catherine chuckles when she hears my remark about a brain. "But now I'm all yours again." I lean down and kiss her neck and suck her ear lobe.

That night we both went to work after we'd dropped Lindsey off at Jenn's house. It was a routine that we had before we went to work, we would pick Lindsey up from school, help her with her homework when needed, eat together and then we would drop her off at Jenn's. 

I opened the break room door and held it open so that Cath could enter the room. Nick and Warrick were sitting on the couch discussing some game when we came in. 

"There are the ladies!" Warrick exclaimed happily, as if he had been worried about us. Nobody said it to us personally but we all knew that they were afraid that something might happen to us. We had seen a police car drive by our house a couple of times everyday for the last week and we both knew that it was Grissom and Brass that had arranged that. We took our guns home each night instead of leaving them in our lockers at work, which we usually did. Catherine didn't want guns in her house with Lindsey there, which is understandable of course. 

With a case like this one, we always had a meeting before we started working on something, just to talk through different views on the case. Talk through the evidence and tell each other what we'd found while investigating. 

Grissom and Brass entered the break room shortly after us, and they both sat down at the table. Grissom gestured us to sit down as well. 


	26. Survival of the fittest

Chapter 26

**Survival of the fittest**

"Was there another murder?"  Catherine asked and even though she was trying hard her voice was still trembling. I laid my hand down on her thigh just to reassure her that I was there for her no matter what. Catherine sent me a weak smile, which probably reflected my own smile. 

_During the day at home with Lindsey we tried to be as happy as possible, but once we were at work the reality of this case hit hard. We didn't seem to be going forward at all. There were no real clues as to where we could find the perp, no fingerprints, no fibres, no nothing._

"No, there wasn't another murder,but there was an attempt. This time he chose two women who were prepared for him. One of the women is a security guard at one of the casinos on the strip." Catherine sighed deeply while she let out the air that she was apparently holding in. 

"Can Sara and I go to the scene, talk with the women?" 

"Yeah, that was the plan, I have the address here, and Brass will go there with the two of you. Try to get as many details as you can. These women are so far all we got in terms of witnesses." 

Catherine nodded before she left the break room. 

"Are you sure that you're up for this?" I asked her while I fell into pace with her. 

"Yeah, I'm sure don't worry about me, honey." Catherine said while she retrieved her bulletproof vest from her locker and waited for me to follow her. The ride to the new crime scene was silent. Both of us thinking our own thoughts. 

~*~

We entered the house. Brass had agreed that we would be doing the questioning of the two victims. He would be there but we would lead. 

The two women were seated in the living room. One was crying while the other one was comforting the blonde. A quick look at the place told me a couple of things: A gun was placed on the coffee table, apparently someone had made some coffee judging by the mugs on the table. An officer was placed by the door, which connected the hallway to the living room. He greeted us when we entered and stepped outside when Brass gave him a sign. 

"Hi, I'm Catherine Willows, this is Sara Sidle my 'partner'. We're with the Las Vegas Crime Lab and that is Detective Jim Brass." Catherine laid an emphasis on the word partner and both women looked up when they heard that word. "Can we ask you some questions, about the events that took place?" She asked before anyone could say anything else. 

"Whose gun is that?" I asked in order to collect the gun and put it into an evidence bag. 

"That's mine, I'm a security guard at one of the Casinos down the strip. I brought it home with me because of this case." The dark haired women said. "My name is Joan Armstrong, and this is Jenny Wells." 

"We were so scared, I promised Jenny that I would keep her safe even if that meant that I would have to face the killer. This case just freaks us out. I placed the gun on my nightstand, we were in bed."

"What happened then?" Catherine asked, encouraging Joan to continue. 

"Jenny was sleeping, but I was still awake when I heard a noise down stairs. I heard the creaking of the wooden floor, something that you can only hear when someone is walking around. I woke Jenny up and told her to dial 911 and then I went downstairs."

"I was so scared, I begged her to stay with me upstairs. But she insisted that she would go downstairs and show the creep who was the boss in this house." Jenny broke in. 

"Baby, I promised to keep you safe, and I really wasn't waiting until that guy would appear in our room to kill us." Joan said while she caressed Jenny's cheek. "Don't worry everything is alright now." 

I noticed the way that Catherine looked up at me. I knew why she looked at me like that, I would rather get myself killed then let anything happen to Cath or Linds. And she knew that I would have done the same. I placed my hand on Catherine's shoulder reassuring her that I wasn't going anywhere. She turned around and continued the questioning. 

"So you went downstairs Joan, and Jenny called 911 and then what happened?" 

"I walked down the stairs and looked around when I heard something in the kitchen, I moved closer to the kitchen which was full of dark shadows. Then I saw a man standing in the kitchen. His knife reflected the light of the moon and I pointed my gun at him. I told him to put down the knife. But he tried to get away. He fled towards the door and escaped to the back of the garden, where he tried to climb over the wall. I called out that I would shoot if he didn't stop. He didn't and I fired a shot at him. I think that I shot him, because he fell to the ground and had trouble getting up again. Somehow, he managed to disappear between the trees. I didn't follow him, 'cos out there it's totally dark, you can't see a hand in front of your eyes."  

"I turned on all the lights in the house and we waited here for the police to arrive, we were so scared." Jenny said tears still flowing from her eyes.


	27. Traces

Chapter 27

**Traces**

Brass was scribbling in his notebook. 

"Is there anything, anything at all, that could bring us closer to identifying the perp?"

"No, I just saw his silhouette when he was standing in the kitchen. It was to dark to make anything out. Nothing at all…" Her voice broke off. 

"Did he say anything to you?" 

"No, not a word. That's all I know, there is nothing more." Joan said, devastated that there wasn't more to tell. 

"Don't worry, you helped us a great deal. Especially if he's shot, we will find traces and maybe be able to find him through his DNA. For now, you'll get protection, do you have a place where you can go while we process this house and the garden for possible evidence?"

"I guess that we can stay at my parents house. I don't think that they kick us out when they hear what has happened." Jenny answered Catherine's question.

"Yeah, that or we get the whole 'told you so' lecture. Her parents don't agree with the way that we live our lives." Joan added bitterly. 

"Been there, done that. We literally know what you mean." Catherine said to the comfort to both women,  letting them know that they weren't the only couple that had to deal with those problems of acceptance. I nodded, agreeing to the remark that Catherine made. Warrick appeared in the door opening and motioned that he needed to talk to me. I excused myself and followed him into the hallway. 

"Grissom sent us, Nick and me, here to process the premises, are there any clues about where to search?" I motioned Warrick to follow me to the kitchen. "He came in through the kitchen door, so we have to process the area around the door and he ran away to the back of the garden. Over there, where the trees are, he tried to climb over the wall and that is where he might have been shot. But he made a fast getaway over there by those trees. He disappeared in the darkness." 

"Well it won't be dark for long, I'll have some officers put the searchlights on it and I will process that piece of the garden." Warrick added while he looked over the scene. 

"Okay, I'll take the kitchen and leave the talking to Cath and Brass." I turned around and stepped back into the kitchen. I went back into the living room where Cath was still talking to Joan and Jenny. I grabbed my kit and said to Brass that I was going to process the kitchen. 

~*~

The perp had knocked in a window above the kitchen counter and gained entrance that way. He climbed inside the kitchen after he opened the window. I found some black fibres stuck in the broken window. I dusted the window but I wasn't able to find any fingerprints. Apparently, he had been wearing gloves, just like he did with the other murders. I hoped that Warrick would be luckier than me and that he would be able to find blood. I was still going over the kitchen when I heard Warrick call my name. I stepped outside and walked over to him. 

"Look what I found!" He said when I reached him. Holding up a bullet covered in blood. "She shot him, and we have his DNA." 

It still wasn't much, and we never knew if we would get a hit via the database, but at least we were making some kind of progress. 

"I can take it back to the lab with me I'm almost finished with the kitchen. I have some fibres. I let Greg run the DNA and maybe we'll have a hit. I just take some fingerprints from both of the women. And then I'm off." 

"Ok see you at the labs, girl."  

~*~

"Can I take your fingerprints to rule out which are yours and to find which are the odd ones?" Both women agreed and I started to take the prints. "By the way we found the bullet which you shot at the perp and apparently you hit him. Brass can you let someone check the hospitals and doctors. Every shot wound could be ours."  

Brass immediately started dialling someone and was talking on his phone in the corner of the room. 

"I'll be heading back to the lab with the evidence, can you get a ride back?"  I asked Catherine. 

"I'm sure that I can manage to persuade someone to drive me back to the lab."  She answered with a soft chuckle. 

"Ok, see you there." 

~*~ 

"Greg, can you run these for me, they have top priority. This could lead us to the perp who has been killing all these women."

Greg immediately started running the tests on the blood while I took the bullet and the gun to trace. Then I retreated to one of the labs and started processing the fibres that I found at the scene.   


	28. Can you keep a secret?

Chapter 28

**Can you keep a secret?**

I knocked on the door of Grissom's office, and opened the door. I sat down in the chair across from his desk. 

"Griss, can I ask you something. I am preparing a surprise for Cath, and I need to deal with some things is it okay if I'm away for an hour. I'll be back as soon as possible."  

"Okay, I think that everyone needs a break from this case, just promise me you'll be back as soon as possible." 

"Can you tell Cath that you gave me an assignment of some sort when she asks where I am."  

"Sara, just go …" Grissom said while he bent down over a case file and started reading it again. He had probably studied the file so many times by now that he would be able to repeat what it said without reading it. It was something that I had been doing too. Trying to find details that we missed, of course there was nothing.   

I walked through the corridors, passing Greg's lab. "Greg, when you get a hit, can you give the results to Grissom, I'll be away for a while." 

"Sure, anything for you babe …" He said teasingly. 

"Greg!" 

"Just teasing Sara, I know how much you love Cath." 

~*~

I sat down in the SUV and turned the ignition and drove away towards Jenn's house. She opened the door just seconds after I knocked on it. 

"Hi Jenn, is Lindsey still awake? I would like to talk to you and Lindsey."  I asked Jenn, knowing that she was probably watching a movie with Linds because it was a Friday and she wouldn't have to go to school. 

"Yeah, we were watching a movie. Is something wrong?" Jenn asked concerned. 

"Wrong, nope, don't worry, this is something good, but I need your help." Jenn stepped backward and let me enter her house. 

I opened the door to the living room and saw Lindsey lying on the couch with a bowl of popcorn in front of her waiting until Jenn returned to watch the movie. Lindsey looked up when she saw me instead of Jenn in the doorway. 

"Hey Linds."  

"Is mom here too?" Lindsey asked when she noticed that only Jenn followed me. 

"Nope, she's working, but I wanted to tell you a secret and ask you something."  I sat down at the couch next to Lindsey while Jenn took a seat facing the couch.

"Do you want me to leave?"  She asked still not sure what to think of this situation, but too curious to leave. I nodded in agreement. 

"Lindsey, you know I love your mom more then anything in the world right?"  She nodded and wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me. 

"Your not leaving us like daddy did, right?"  She asked, Lindsey was still afraid that people would leave her. Hence her question about Catherine's whereabouts. I hugged her back and softly ran my hand up and down her back in a comforting movement. 

"No Lindsey, I don't want to leave you or Catherine. I don't want to go back to my old life." 

"Then what is it?" Lindsey asked while she leaned back in my embrace to watch me. 

"I wanted to ask you what you would think when I asked your mom to marry me?" I blurted out, I was so nervous. 

"You want to marry my mom, I would love that but mom told me that you couldn't cause I asked her if she would marry you a while back."  

"Lindsey, Nick from work, he helped me with a plan and we can get married if we want to. He and his parents offered to help us. They have this big ranch in Texas and they said that we can have our wedding there. 

AN: Thank you for all the kind reviews and thank you for hanging with me. You have no idea what this means to me. Anyways, all of the mistakes in this chapter are my mistake, and not my beta´s. 

Angelique


	29. Close call

AN: Thank you for all the kind reviews and thank you for hanging with me. You have no idea what this means to me. Anyways, all of the mistakes in this chapter are my mistake, and not my beta´s. 

Angelique

Sweet Salvation

**Close call**

Chapter 29 

The moment I enter the building, I feel the seriousness that the building stands for. The white coloured corridors, the employees walking around in white or blue lab coats and the impersonal rooms that we work in send a shiver down my spine. The happy feelings disappear while the thoughts of our case creep upon me.  

I walked down the corridor and passed Grissom´s office when I heard him call my name. 

"Sara, can I talk to you for a minute."

I closed the door behind me and sat down on his couch. 

"I don´t know what´s going on and frankly I don´t even want to know. If there are any problems with Catherine then please solve them. She asked where you where and when I told her that you where out, she gave me this weird look. She didn´t ask anything else but I know that she knew that I wasn´t telling her the truth." 

"I care about you and I care about Catherine, but I refuse to stand in between the two of you when you're having a fight or whatever. Don´t let this relationship interfere with your work. You know that there are consequences if this doesn´t work out." Grissom said with a concerned look on his face. He could say that he didn´t care but by the looks of his face just the idea of a problem between me and Catherine had concerned him more then he would ever admit. 

"Grissom, I can assure you that nothing is wrong. It´s just this case it´s particularly hard on Catherine and me. But we´ll be all right. Don´t worry." Grissom didn´t say a word and I saw that as my cue to leave. 

I grabbed two mugs and poured coffee into them before I searched for Catherine. I found her in one of the labs, and entered it silently. I put down the mugs and greeted her. Catherine was so taken into her thoughts that she hadn´t seen nor heard me enter the room. She startled when I wrapped my arms around her and whispered my hello into her ear. 

"Hey babe, missed me?" 

"What? … No, yeah …" 

"Well, which one is it, you have to make a choice." I said with a grin on my face.

"Yeah, I missed you  …" Catherine said while she kissed me. "Where were you?" She asked and knew that it wouldn´t be so easy to satisfy her with an answer.  

"I went for a drive, I just needed to sort my mind out. But that is not something that I can say to Grissom. He probably won´t like that as a reason to stay away for a couple of hours, especially not now."  

"What are you working on?" I asked Catherine trying to get her mind onto an other topic. 

"Just going over the pictures, waiting for the test results. Thinking of a way to find this bastard. Those women where terrified that he would try it again. Because he can´t afford to leave eye witnesses behind." Catherine said while she sighed.

"We´re going to get him, he´s getting sloppy. He´s left more evidence then on the other cases. We now even have his blood, so that is a start and we know that he´s hurt."

Warrick walked past the lab and I called his name. "Warrick, have you found anything new?" I asked him. 

"Well, we got a call from Brass there was one guy with a gunshot wound to the shoulder at the hospital. He asked Nick and me to meet him at the hospital. So I have to go now, I´ll call you as soon as we know more." 

~*~

We sat down working on all of the evidence while we waited to hear more about this perp in the hospital. We both stopped in our tracks when Catherine´s  phone rang both hoping that this would be the end of this nightmare. 

"It´s not, damn!" Was all that Cath said before she flipped her phone shut. 

"It´s not our guy, but he confessed to a gang related shooting down the strip. He rather confessed to that because he knew that he will probably get a lesser conviction then when you get caught for these murders. And the blood type doesn´t match to the blood that we found at the scene yesterday. " She sat back down and gave me the impression that someone had defeated her. 

"Well find our guy, I know we will." I said while I wrapped my arms around Catherine. "Let´s go home, it´s almost time and there isn´t much that we can do right now." _And there was so much that I had to do before Catherine woke up. _

~*~

The ride home was silently and I knew that Catherine was exhausted and that she would pass out when she hit her cushion. Compared to me, Catherine was an easy sleeper. She could sleep everywhere and anywhere at every time of the day. While I was glad when I slept for a couple of hours. 

I was right just minutes after we entered the house and dropped down on the bed I could hr Catherine´s breathing subdue. She looked so tired, and small covered by the heap of blankets that she always stole from me. I smiled at the thought, today she could have all of the blankets. 

I waited until I was sure that she was sleeping and wouldn´t wake up soon. I walked towards the closet and got some clothes out I watched Catherine for a couple of minutes, before I put my clothes on. I hated this sneaking around, but on the other hand I wanted my proposal to be a total surprise. 

I wrote a quick letter telling Cath that Jenn asked me if I could pick up Lindsey early because she needed to go and see a friend that was sick. I quietly left the house and drove my car to Jenn´s house. Lindsey saw me coming and she ran towards the car before I even stopped it. 

It was so good to see her excitement, one more reason to go through with this. She could take all my doubts away. This might really work out the way I would love to see it. 

"Hey Sweetie, did you sleep alright or where you to excited?" I asked while Lindsey got into the car. 

I was kind of excited, but then Auntie Jenn said that I could go to sleep and if I did that you would be here sooner then when I stayed awake. And she was right." Lindsey smiled. I watched Jenn walking up to the car and opened the window. 

"Hi Sara, I got you covered when Cath calls, you can count on me." 

"Thank you." I said grateful for all the help that I received. 

"No problem, hun as long as my sister stays this happy."  She laughed while she said that. _She had said that a couple of times to me and I knew that she thought that I was making Catherine so happy. Well Catherine was doing the same for me._

"I´ll make sure that she stays this happy. Cause heaven forbids, I don´t want to see you angry with me." Jenn chuckled at my comment and waved while I drove off. 


	30. Weekend

Chapter 30

Weekend

It was a Saturday morning and the mall was crowded with families on a mission. Mothers dragging children along the hallways, passing the stores that the children wanted to see, and stepping into the ones that the children didn't want to see. Lindsey held onto my hand while we walked through the crowd. We where on a mission too, but at least we knew what we were looking for. Lindsey and I had agreed that we would check out the jeweler stores first before going into the other stores. 

The first store didn't have what we were looking for, so our search continued. The next jeweler had an employee who had barely hit his twenties. A young boy nervous as hell trying to help customers, he walked towards us and asked whether he could help us.  

"Yes you can, I'm searching for an engagement ring for my girlfriend." I said to him. He watched me intensely, probably because he thought that I fooling around with him. 

"Engagement ring for your girl … girlfriend." He stumbled over the words and his cheeks colored dark red. 

"Yes, my mother is her girlfriend. And the ring is for my mother." Lindsey explained in her childlike manner. The employees cheeks turned even redder, something I didn't think was possible. 

"Okay, one moment please." He excused himself before he stepped back to back of the store and appeared minutes later with a black box in his hands. He fumbled with his keys for a couple of seconds before he opened the box. It revealed a collection of golden rings. 

I was studying the rings intently trying to imagine them on Catherine's finger, when my eyes fell onto one particular ring. 

"Sara, what about that ring, the one in the middle?" Lindsey asked while she pointed at the ring that I had been looking at. 

"I think that ring is the perfect one. It'll be so beautiful on her finger, I'm sure she'll love it." I answered her question. 

"I think so too." Lindsey confirmed. 

"I would like to buy that ring for my girlfriend." I just had to tease the employee a little more, the instance I said it his face turned red again. He put the ring in a velvet-covered box and after I paid we were ready to go. 

"Are you hungry?" I asked Lindsey, when I saw a little dinner in the centre of the mall. I knew that she was, that girl was always hungry. Catherine and I always wondered where the hell she put the food that she ate. 

"Yes I am, are we going to McDonalds or KFC?" She asked in excitement. 

"Actually I was thinking more in the line of that little dinner over there, the Mexican place." I said while I pointed in the right direction. 

"Okay, fine with me, can I have a taco then?"  

"Choose whatever you want." I said while we walked down to one of the unoccupied tables. 

~*~

After the dinner we decided that we would go to the supermarket and buy food for the rest of the week. We came home with a couple of paper bags filled with all kinds of food. Lindsey opened the door and let me pass her with the bags. I entered the kitchen and was greeted by Catherine, who was drinking a coffee at the bar, while reading the paper. 

I planted the bags on the counter and kissed Catherine. 

"Hey babe, have you been gone long?" She asked while she watched the bags that I put onto the counter. 

"Nah, just an hour or so didn't you hear me get up?" Catherine shook her head while she took a sip of her coffee. 

"I think that I was unconscious, I was so tired. I could have slept all day." Catherine said while Lindsey burst into the kitchen. 

"Hey sweetie."  Catherine said while she hugged Lindsey. 

Lindsey wrapped her arms around her mother's neck and sat down on her lap. She caught my attention by the weird movements that she was making. Then she pointed at a ring that she was wearing on her finger and gestured me to get away, all behind Catherine's back. 

I walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs towards the bedroom hiding the ring in the back of my drawer, a place that I knew Catherine would never go. She respects my privacy like I respect hers. I closed the drawer all I had to do was find the perfect moment to ask Catherine. 

When I returned to the kitchen I saw that Lindsey was still talking to Catherine about her friends and about school and the movie that she watched with Jenn.  

~*~

Monday morning came faster then I liked. We were getting ready to take Lindsey to school, when the phone rang. I picked it up and sighed when I heard the voice on the other side of the line. "Hi, it's Griss, Sara, is Catherine there too?" he asked. I knew what was next, he wanted us to get into work. 

"Yeah, she's here. What's the matter?" 

"I just sent Nick and Warrick home, they have been working all weekend on the case. I called them in on Saturday night. And I just sent them home a couple of hours ago. I can't call them again. But I just received a phone call from the hospital. There was a man brought in with a wound that could be a gunshot wound. But they are not sure if it is. It's infected and the man is unconscious, someone found him in a motel. Doctors are working on him, he's lost a lot of blood."

"We'll be there, we just have to drop of Lindsey before we come to CSI." 

"Cath, we have to go in, there might be a new lead to our case."  I said to her as I entered the kitchen.   

"Let's hope that this will end it, I'm so sick and tired of this case." 

~*~

Half an hour later we walked through the entrance of the CSI building. We entered Grissom office where he was waiting for us. 

"We got a call from the Desert Palm Springs hospital, there has been a man brought in with a wound that could be a gunshot. Apparently he got the bullet out somehow but he has a pretty bad infection and he's unconscious. Brass is waiting at the Desert Palms until he regains consciousness. Meanwhile I would like the two of you to go to the motel. The motel owner found the man when he was going through the rooms on his round."

"No way, no way Grissom, I'm there when he regains consciousness. I want to look that bastard in the eyes. I want to know why he did it." Catherine spat out. The anger, frustration and fear of this case had built up past these last weeks.  


	31. Damnit!

AN :  Thank you Autumn for a kicking my muse ( I owe you). Thanks Dutchie and Lewis for being my proofreaders and especially for clearing the mess that I made. Grammatical errors they have never been my strong point.

Thanks, 

Angelique  

Sweet Salvation

Damnit!

Chapter 31 

We entered the room of a grubby motel, across from a dusty road that lead out of Vegas or towards Vegas. People came here hoping that they would win a prize that will let them pay for a room in one of the decent hotels on the strip. Most people will never reach one of those hotels, they will leave with less money then they came with. This motel is the perfect example of one of the cheapest motels in the area. It was dusty and dark in the room. The smell of blood filled my nostrils.  

Catherine sat her kit down on the floor and opened it. She started to work on the blood that covered the bed linen. She took some samples while I took photographs of the scene. Suddenly I noticed something on the floor covered by the bed linen. I lifted the sheet up and saw a gun on the floor. I snapped some pictures of it before I picked it up. I took a quick look around the room finding what I was searching for. 

"Damnit!" Catherine looked up, moving her red glasses up into her hair. 

"What's the matter?" she asked, I held the gun up to Cath and showed her the gun and the bullets, one was missing. 

"There is a really nice blood spatter pattern on this wall here. He was definitely shot in this room. Catherine moved closer to the wall and looked at the pattern. "Shot at close range…" she mumbled. "Call Grissom." 

I flipped my phone open and dialed Grissom's number.

"Grissom, hi it's me."

"Grissom it's not our guy." 

"Because we have a blood spatter pattern on the wall, and a loaded gun missing one bullet on the floor. It's not our guy he tried to shoot himself and it didn't work." 

Grissom was silent at the other end of the line, after a moment he told me that Brass had just handed him a blood test. "You're right, his blood type doesn't match the blood type that we found at the scene. I'll call Ecklie and let him take this case, see if it's really a suicide gone wrong or not. Stay there until Ecklie and his crew arrive."

"We'll have to wait until Ecklie arrives, and then we can get back to the labs. The hospital did a blood test and it didn't match with the blood found at the last scene." Catherine nodded and gathered her belongings back into her kit. 

~*~

Grissom sat down at the table in the conference room, where Cath and I had spread out the pictures taken at various scenes. There was a pile with all the test results and files from this case. Catherine was reading a file and scribbled down something in her notebook. I looked down at the pictures, pictures of evidence, victims, wounds. Everything was there I had seen the pictures over and over again over these last few weeks. And there was nothing new in them. 

"These are obviously hate crimes, but drives him to hate like this? What is the motive for his hatred?" Grissom asked thinking out loud.

"A girlfriend or a wife that walked out on the guy, and hooked up with another woman." Catherine replied. 

"What makes you think that? Why not someone who just hates people who are gay?" Grissom asked Catherine. I lay down the picture that I was holding in my hand. 

"Eddie." She states simply. 

"Eddie, what does he have to do with this?" I asked surprised. 

"Eddie wasn't a homophobic person or anything. Eddie is one of those men who is really proud of the women that he seduced in his life. If he knew that one of 'his' women was hooking up with a girl, he would be pissed off at least. You know how he can get." Catherine shrugged; everybody knew that Eddie had been violent towards her. "Eddie would never go this far, don't get me wrong but I think that it might trigger some man to something like this. Man can be so possessive."  

Warrick and Nick enter the room and sit down. "Hey guys. You've been here a long time?" Warrick asks looking at the files and pictures spread out over the table. 

"Yeah Grissom called us in this morning, for a minute there we thought that we had a suspect but unfortunately that was too good to be true." 


	32. I can see you, can you see me?

AN: Thanks to the excellent work that Lewis did for me I had to upload all the chapters, so don't freak out when you receive emails about chapters that where already uploaded. I haven't changed any mayor things or anything. Just a lot of grammar mistakes and minor details to the story. 

Chapter 32  
  


I can see you, can you see me?

"So what are you doing right now?" Warrick asked. 

"Going over the files once again making sure that we're not missing any details." I stated, Warrick looked at me and nodded his head. 

"I swear Sara when I grab that file and I ask you what's in it that you can tell me the contents of the file. I've seen you go over this file so many times, I don't think that you missed a single detail. Not even if you wanted to, I know you girl." he said laughing. 

"Then what else should we do? I'm scared to death that I'll wake up one night with that guy in my house. I want to nail the sucker." emotions ran high, higher then I ever wanted to show to them. But I guess, that everyone in this room was expecting me to break down sooner or later, especially since Cath and I have been together. Nothing is the way that it is supposed to be, or at least the way that it would have been if this hadn't happened. Little things like this make me realise that a lot of things have changed; it makes me realise how much Cath and Linds mean to me. I know that I'm doing the right thing.  

Warrick wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. "Hey Sar, we're doing everything we can."

 "I know, Warrick but that doesn't make it easier." 

"Well go over the evidence if you think that it might help." Warrick said while he let go of me. 

"Do you think that we'll catch this guy?" I asked Warrick, knowing what his answer will be before even asking the question. Still it made me feel a little calmer. 

"Yeah we will." Warrick answered, "He's already screwing up, we have his DNA, one day we will have him. C'mon let's get something to eat." 

~*~

The group entered the small diner and sat down in a booth at the other end of the small room. He watched the small group of people in the room. He could see the pain and fear on the women's faces. He smiled; he had accomplished what he wanted. But he wasn't ready… he stood up and left the diner. They would never know how close they had been to him.

~*~

We knew that we only had a couple more days until the next murder, at least if this guy was following the pattern that he had set with the other murders. At the moment, we doubted that the guy had been seriously injured by the shot. We had nobody to match to the blood found at the last scene and we had no one injured in the hospital that matched the blood. The bullet probably just grazed his skin. 

Other cases started coming in and we all went back to our jobs waiting until the moment that we would be called in. But nothing happened; the week passed and everything went back to normal. At least as normal as it could be, we were still looking out for our killer but there was nothing that could bring us closer to him. The media lost interest in  the case when nothing happened, other news became more interesting to the media. 

We came into work and we did our job, but in the back of my mind, I wasn't able to let this case rest. It was a case like Eddie's one that was so important but also one that I couldn't break. 

~*~

I knocked at the door and waited for a sign from Grissom. I opened the door after he told me to come in. 

"Griss, can I ask you for a favour?" He sighed. "Sara, what is it this time?" 

"Well, you know how Cath and I are free this weekend but we are on call."

"Yes Sara, and you don't want me to call because you have something special planned for the weekend?" Grissom asked, already knowing what the answer would be. 

 "Actually yes, something really special. Could you please not call us?" I pleaded with him. 

"Okay on one condition, you and Catherine go home now and make sure that you get a good night sleep before next shift. Because both of you have been suffering during this case. And for the next few weeks I don't want to see you near these labs when shift hasn't started." I wanted to interrupt him, tell him that I wasn't doing much overtime. "I know that you aren't doing much overtime, but during this case I have seen Catherine as well as you in here doing overtime. More than you were supposed to." I nodded knowing that he was right.  

"Okay, see you tonight." I turned around and walked out the door in search for Catherine. I found her in one of the labs.

"Hey babe, Grissom said that we can go home, are you ready?" 

"Home, yeah I'll be ready in a sec. See you in the locker room?"  

"Meet you there, hurry up." Catherine gathered the evidence and took it to the storage while I entered the locker room. 

Catherine entered the locker room minutes after me. We grabbed our belongings, and walked through the hallways towards the parking lot. 

~*~

He was sitting in his car, watching the door of the CSI building. "There they are those bitches, they will pay for everything they did to me." He grinned viciously. He started the engine of his car and followed the dark colored SUV.


	33. Being followed

Chapter 33

Being followed

"That's weird," I said looking up in the rare view mirror. 

"What is?" Catherine asked looking at me. 

"There is a car, it has been behind us since we drove away from the CSI building." 

Catherine turned around and gazed at the dark car behind us. "Sara, you're driving towards the Strip. That is the main spot for entertainment in Vegas. It's not really weird that he is behind us all the way. You'll see." 

"I guess you're right." I smile at Catherine knowing that she's probably right, and I'm being paranoid. 

~*~

He saw the movement in the car, the blonde bitch turned around and glared at my car. He knew that he had to make a decision. He drove the car in a parking spot in front of one of the many casinos. 

~*~

Catherine was looking into her mirror; "See he parked the car in front of the casino." 

"Yeah, I know I'm being paranoid… don't mind me." I grinned hoping that she would let the topic rest. Catherine laughed at my comment, "Well at least you're my paranoid girlfriend." She placed her hand on my thigh and I covered her hand with mine.

~*~

I needed some time alone to take care of a couple of things, so I had asked Lindsey if she could ask Catherine to watch a movie with her. Catherine agreed and right now I could hear the noise from the movie as I walked down the hallway to the living room. "Hey Cath, I'll be gone for a couple of hours. See you later." I say before bending down and giving her a kiss. 

"Where are you going?" She asked surprised by my sudden urge to get out. 

"Oh, I don't know, I think that I'm going for a walk."

"Shall I go with you?" 

"No, I don't think that Lindsey will like it when I snatch you away from her again…"

"Mom, you promised!" Lindsey exclaimed in a mock anger. I didn't even have to ask her to help me. I almost burst into a giggle when I looked at Lindsey, that kid is wonderful. 

"See you in a few hours, enjoy the movie." I grabbed my keys and left the house. 

~*~

He saw her leave the house and for a second he contemplated his next step. Would he go after her or grab the other bitch. He saw some movement in the house. He lifted the binoculars up and took a closer look. "Damnit! That child is there." He grunted between his teeth. He might be a jerk but he could never hurt a kid. He figured that it would be better to wait a few more days; they would feel more confident if there weren't any new murders on those friggin´ lesbians. He rubbed his arm, the wound still hurt but at least he could still use his arm. 

~*~

I drove towards the mall; practical as I am I had always refused to wear a dress. I just didn't feel comfortable in a dress, and besides I would rather buy clothes that I could wear more than once. Of course I had clothes for special occasions, but not a single dress, not even a skirt. Well I did have a skirt, but I kept it in the back of my closet. Catherine had asked me why I never wore a dress but until now I had refused to buy one. I wanted to surprise Catherine and I was sure that she wouldn't expect anything else when she saw me in a dress. I smiled; I could imagine the way that she would look at me. But that would mean that I had to find one first. 

I opened the door to one of the stores in the crowded mall. A saleswoman approached me the second I set a foot into the store. Moments later she was showing me a couple of dresses for special occasions as she called them. I didn't really like them until my eye caught a dress which was just gorgeous. The dress had a dark red color and it was just the perfect dress. After trying it on I knew that Catherine would love it. 

I had arranged that I could drop the clothes off at Jenn´s that way Catherine could never find them when she was searching for clothes. She sometimes wore my clothes, so my closet wouldn't be a good hiding place. 

Jenn was eager to see the dress that I had bought and when I finally showed her she whistled her approval. "Damn Sara, now I really see what my sister sees in you. You are going to catch her heart forever." I hugged Jenn, I knew that she had always supported us and I was grateful for that. I just wished that my family would be supportive, even if it was a quarter of Jenn's support. 

~*~

Catherine wrapped her arms around me from behind when I was standing in the kitchen reading the paper and sipping my coffee. "Did you have a nice walk?" she asked while she kissed the base of my neck. 

"Hmm… yeah I did, how was the movie."  

"The same as the other nine times that I've seen it. Next time it's your turn to entertain my daughter during a movie."  

"Well you're right about one thing, she's your daughter." Catherine looked at me as if she couldn't believe I just said that. It was obvious that she didn't interpret that the way that I meant it. She looked at me in silence for a couple of moments before she turned away. I could hit myself in the head, how could I be so stupid. I grabbed her hand before she was out of reach and pulled her back to me.  

"Cath, honey, listen to me. I didn't mean it as negative as it sounded. It was a joke, you know as well as I do that Lindsey is just as important as you are in my life. Don't be mad."  I trailed a finger along her cheek before I pulled her closer, into my embrace. "I'm sorry, although I'm not sure why you doubt me when I make a joke like that?"

"Because, oh, I don't know… because some of my exes told me those kinds of things on a daily basis. I have decided that Lindsey is more important then any relationships. She's my baby… I guess that it scares me when I hear those things coming from you, even if it is just a joke. I have my insecurities too, you know."

"I'm sorry Cath, I didn't know that. I won't ever say something like that again." I felt so stupid, I should have known. 

**AN:** Okay, we are almost at the part that you have been waiting for, at least I hope so. Make my day with those wonderful reviews and I'll try to update A.S.A.P.


	34. The day

AN: Oh god, you're so going to hate me for this…

Chapter 34

The day…

This is it, this is the day that will change my life forever or throw me back to being the person I used to be. This is the day that I will ask Catherine to marry me, and her answer could change everything. 

Jenn and Lindsey kept telling me that I didn't need to worry. But after all I am Sara Sidle, the girl who couldn't love someone or be loved for more then a couple of months, weeks, okay… days. But at this moment I was also the girl who would take the big step. Ever since I had been with Catherine I had become more confident, but around two in the afternoon I just couldn't stay in bed any longer.

I decided to go for a walk, a real walk this time, and think about tonight, about what I would say when I ask her to marry me. I packed my things into a back-pack, and wrote a short note to Catherine in the kitchen. I told her that I couldn't sleep and that I was going for a walk, I also asked her if she could wear her black dress. I told her that I would be back at seven and that I wanted to have dinner in a restaurant. I grabbed the back-pack and my keys and closed the door behind me. I wanted to spend the day walking through the surroundings of Lake Mead. I just needed some alone time, and I loved to hike through the surroundings, it cleared my head.   

~*~

I parked my car in front of Jenn's townhouse, and knocked on the door. The door swung open and Jenn laughed at me. "Nervous?" she asked when she saw my face. I laughed at her, she has the same ability that Catherine and Lindsey have, they can see through someone, even when you're trying really hard to hide your true feelings, somehow they always know what's underneath it. 

"Yeah, I am." 

"Oh honey, that's completely normal. Come in." she said holding the door open further so that I could pass her. 

We sat down on the couch and talked for a while, until Jenn urged me to get dressed, it was almost six o'clock and I wanted to look my best for this evening. I took a quick shower and blow-dried my hair, leaving the curls in it. I put on the dress and was applying my make up when I heard a knock on the door. "Sara, I have something for you." 

She opened the door and peeked around the corner. "You can come in." 

"When I saw your dress this earlier this week I immediately had to think about this necklace and earrings that I have. They would look great on you. I would love it if you wore them tonight." 

"Are you sure, these are beautiful?" I say looking at the necklace and earrings. 

"Of course I'm sure. C'mon Sara you're family. And besides that I wouldn't offer it if I wasn't sure." 

~*~

I was so nervous that I wasn't really sure if I was fit to drive home to pick-up Catherine. I tried to calm down and took a few deep breaths before I walked up the lawn and opened the door. Catherine was in the hallway the moment she heard the key in the lock. Catherine came towards me but stopped dead in her tracks. She was completely stunned by my appearance. 

"Wow!" was all she could say after a couple of minutes. Lindsey appeared in the doorway when we didn't show up. She held up her thumb to me before she returned to the living room. 

I stepped up to Catherine, "Well you don't look to bad either." I said with a smile before planting a kiss on her lips. Catherine whimpered. 

"Do we have to go somewhere else, can't we stay at home?" she asked when we broke apart. __

"Yes we are definitely going somewhere."  

"Do we have to? I would rather get you out of those clothes and devour you. Ravish your body with hot and steamy sex before we fall asleep."  

"Although that offer is very tempting, I have to insist that we go out. I have made reservations… Give me just a minute." I walk up the stairs as fast as I can, I know that Cath is watching my every move. I can feel her eyes resting on me. I open the drawer in the bedroom and rummaged through it to retrieve the little velvet box. I open it and look at the ring. I know I'm doing the right thing.   

"Lindsey, are you ready?" She nods and runs upstairs to get her bag. I had already discussed this with her and Jenn. I wanted to keep everything a secret until the moment I asked Catherine. 

~*~ 

After we dropped Lindsey off, I drove the car back to the city. I parked the car behind one of the hotels at the strip and got out of it, I wanted to make this the perfect night. So I walked around the car and opened the door at Catherine's side. I offered her my hand when she got out of the car. 

I took Catherine down the hall of the hotel, into the restaurant that was on the far end at the right. We were shown to a secluded table at the back of the restaurant, just like I asked when I made the reservations. The waiter handed us the menus and he left us. I reached across the table and covered Catherine's hand with mine. "Baby, choose everything you want." She smiled; I knew that the prices where ridiculous here but right now I didn't care how much it was going to cost. 

~*~ 

He watched them from a distance, their happy faces and loving gestures made him sick. Once he had loved them now he hated their guts more then anything.  

~*~

Catherine excused herself and went to the bathroom. I retrieved the little velvet box from my bag, I checked it one last time to make sure that the ring was really in there. This was it this was the moment. I gestured to the waiter and he approached me. I asked him to bring us a bottle of champagne after I proposed to Catherine. He wished me luck before he returned to the bar. 

I waited for Catherine to return, more nervous then I ever had been before my hands clung onto the box, as if it could save me. Catherine sat down and smiled at me, she immediately saw through me. 

"Sara, what's wrong baby?" she asked.

"Catherine, there is something that I need to tell you." I gather all my strength and start talking. "Catherine, this past year with you has been the best I can remember in a long time. I have never been this happy with someone else; I was rather lonely for years. When I met you that first day at CSI I was stunned by your beauty. Through the years you were the object of my affection and this past year you've been the centre of my world. That is why I would like to ask you if you want to marry me?" I was down on one knee and held the little velvet box up. When Catherine looked up in horror. The look in her eyes scared me, had it all just been my imagination? Weren't things as good as I thought they had been? 

Seconds later my head hit the floor and I slipped into unconsciousness. The last thing I heard was Catherine screaming my name. 

~*~

He could see what happened when Catherine excused herself. He could see the velvet box and the shimmer when the light caught the ring. He knew that he couldn't wait any longer. This was his moment, and nothing could ruin it. He awaited Catherine's return, and moved closer to them. He was curious to hear what Sara's next step would be. He never wanted them to be happy, especially not this happy. He waited until Sara dropped to her knee; he knew that this was his moment. She was more vulnerable and Catherine would be so caught in the moment that she wouldn't be able to react. He stood up; with his black suit on he blended into the scenery perfectly so he had no trouble at all approaching them. Catherine looked up just seconds before he hit Sara down with the back of his gun. He didn't want to kill her just yet; he wanted to see the pain in her eyes when she found out what had happened to her girlfriend. Sara's lifeless body fell to the floor with a horrible thud.  

He held his gun pointed at Catherine and told her to stand up; she's bent over Sara begging her to wake up. Tears are streaming down her cheeks. He hears her chant that she loves Sara. 

"Willows, stand up now or do I have to shoot her before you'll listen to me?" he demands, before he grabs her arm and pulls her up. He laughs, that is going to leave a beautiful mark on that light skin. She stands up turns around and looks at him for a couple of seconds before she jumps forward and starts hitting him, she screams at him.

"What did you do, what did you do you bastard!" He grabs her wrists; she winces in pain. 

"Feisty, I have to give you that. But remember I am the one holding the gun." He points the gun at Sara. "You're going with me or you watch her die right there on that spot."

She gives in, the tears still running down her face. "I'll listen to you, please don't hurt her."   
  


No one in the room moves, everyone is standing still. Some people are crying, some people screamed but at this moment everyone was silent. "Stay here, don't follow me." He says before he drags Catherine to the kitchen. He holds up his gun, "I want everyone out of this kitchen right now and no one gets hurt." The chefs and cooks walk past us as fast as they can into the restaurant. He pushed Catherine towards the door at the back of the kitchen. He swings the door open and pushes her out. A car was parked at the other side of the door. "Get in." is all he says. 

~*~

The waiter sat down on his knees, he asked for a wet towel and held it on Sara's head wound. "Miss, hello miss can you hear me?" he asked when her eyes fluttered open. 

I looked up at him, wondering what had happened until the thoughts came crashing back onto me. I try to get up, reaching out for help. "Miss you can better stay down, you received a pretty hard blow to the head." The waiter tries to hold me down. 

"No, I'm alright where is Catherine?" I ask, she's not here she would be by my side if she was, wouldn't she?

"Madam the man who hit you in the head took her with him. He had a gun; there was nothing we could do. The police are on their way." 

"No, no this can't be happening…" was all I could say tears flowing from my eyes. 

~*~

Catherine's POV 

"Why are you doing this? Do you hate us that much?" Catherine asked; she was paying attention to where he was driving.

"Shut up, bitch! You shouldn't have ignored me. You brought this upon yourself. Just like that other bitch." 

"Why, because we're gay?" 

"Actually that isn't even the biggest problem, Catherine. Your attitude is, I came onto you so many times and all you did was put me down or ignore me just like Sara always did. First you two where fighting for Grissom's attention until all of the sudden you're fucking each other."  

**AN:** Come on you guys you know that I have to tie the ends together… what would be the point of that perp following them if he didn't make a move on them. Always remember that I am the one pulling the strings in this show so I could have made things so much darker and wicked. Keep the faith, thanks for reading and hopefully you're on the edge of your seat for the next chapter. I know I am on the edge of my seat to see your reviews. 

One little hint, do you really think I would go through 41 chapters of 'Only time could tell' and 34 chapters of 'Sweet Salvation' for nothing? Don't despair; I'm working on part 35. 

Angelique 


	35. Wrecked

**AN:** Thanks for all the great reviews, I loved reading them. Sorry for not updating any sooner. But this is an extra long chapter as was the last.  Out of appreciation for all of my readers. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

Angelique

Chapter 35

Wreckage 

I called the all too familiar phone number of Grissom's cell  phone. He would probably be out working on a case. But I needed him here; I wanted him here with me. 

"Grissom," I started crying as the seriousness of this mess hit me. Catherine was kidnapped. "Grissom… someone took Catherine, I'm afraid that it is… our killer." Words came out piece by piece. I had to stop several times because I was crying too hard and had to take a breath. He immediately abandoned his other crime scene and was on his way to the restaurant. He told me that he would be there in a matter of minutes. 

"Sara!" he called out entering the restaurant. He immediately ran towards me and hugged me. "Everything will be okay. I promise…" 

Nick and Warrick barge through the doors and I fall into Nick's arms. He is the only one, except for Jenn and Lindsey who knows the purpose of this date. "Sara, what happened honey, talk to me."  My tears where making wet stains on his shirt, my head was resting on his shoulder. Fatigue struck my body; I was so tired all I wanted to do was fall asleep and wake up from this nightmare. But the pounding headache and the bump on my head told me that this wasn't a nightmare but pure reality. 

I was scared, all I wanted was hold Catherine in my arms and tell her that I love her. "Nicky, please bring Cath back to me? I can't live without her." 

"Did you ask her?" Nick whispered to me, when he noticed that Warrick and Grissom, pre-occupied talking to some of the witnesses. I had told Nick earlier this week about my plans, he would make sure that Grissom wouldn't call us.  

"Yes…" I buried my face in his shoulder.

"And, what did she say?" 

"Nothing ."  

"What do you mean, nothing?"  

"I got knocked unconscious before she could answer me, okay Nick. She never got the chance to answer my question. This was supposed to be a special night. Well it is special indeed!" I spat at Nick. I knew that he was trying to calm me down, talk to me, comfort me but this wasn't doing any good.  

~*~

"What can you tell me about the man who did this?"  Grissom asked the waiter that was closest to Sara and Catherine while it happened. 

"It was just a regular guy, not someone that would stand out in a crowd. If he didn't have the gun, he wouldn't have gotten away. I mean he was small, I think that those women could have taken him down easily. Maybe you can see him on the security videos. Daniel, come here for a sec."  The waiter turned around and searched the room for a moment. A young man walked up to them. "Daniel, can you show Mister Grissom the security cams from the door at the back of the kitchen.  

Daniel nodded and asked Grissom to follow him. They entered a small dark room, filled with television screens and VCR's. Daniel sat down on the chair and pushed some buttons, rewinding one of the VCR's.  The first images showed the restaurant Catherine and Sara were sitting at the table, Sara talked to Catherine and then got down on one knee. Even to Grissom that could only mean one thing. Grissom could only imagine what Sara must feel like, not to mention Catherine. Suddenly a dark shadow moved behind Sara and she got hit in the head. The person watched as Sara hit the floor unconscious. Catherine fell down on her knees next to Sara, but the man grabbed her arm and pulled her back up. He moved away towards the kitchen and out of the reach of the camera. 

"Is there another camera, in the kitchen?" Grissom asked. Daniel nodded. He moved around to another VCR and rewound the video to where Catherine opened the door. A second later the man followed her but he made the mistake of looking up right into the camera. Only a split second, but long enough for Grissom to recognize him.

"Well I'll be damned. I need those tapes now." Grissom said before rushing out to the restaurant.   

~*~

Catherine's POV 

"So you killed all these women to get back at me and Sara, how sick can you be?" I asked my words filled with anger, pain and disgust, his emotions were coming into play, and I knew that I would be able to take him down somehow. He would become less focused and would start to make mistakes, I had seen it happen before, time and time again. 

"Shut up!" he screamed, "I don't want to hear another word from you. I am the one holding the gun here." 

"Do you even know to handle that thing?" I asked him sarcastically. 

"Oh Catherine, please shut up, even a lab tech like me knows how to handle a gun. I'm not stupid you know, if I was, you and that bitch would have been able to stop me before I kidnapped you." Madness was raging through me; I wanted to knock some sense into him. He was acting like he was superior to everyone, and in a way he probably thought that he was. Killing people, innocent people is kind of playing God.   

I had to think of something, they probably didn't know where we were going, and who I was with. How could they, Sara never saw who attacked her. He was behind her all the time and she was knocked unconscious. I wasn't able to tell her what was wrong.  

~*~

"Warrick, can I talk to you for a second."  Warrick and Grissom moved away from the crowd. Brass and some officers were asking witnesses what they had seen and writing down the details. Grissom stepped closer to Brass. "Jim, please follow me." Nick could see the commotion at the other end of the room and decided that it was his job to distract Sara. 

"Sara, did you come here in your car?" I nodded not really sure where he was going, a waiter brought me a glass of water which I gratefully took. 

"Yes, why?"  

"Do you still have that set of spare clothes in your car?" I nodded again, they were always in the back of my car. " Maybe we can get those clothes, so you can dress in something more comfortable."  

We stood up and Nick led me towards the exit, I opened the door of my car and grabbed the bag with clothes. I asked Nick for an evidence bag before I got into the ladies room to change clothes. After all I was an investigator and I knew that there could be evidence on my clothes even though the contact had been very brief. Nick checked the ladies room out just to be sure that there was no one in there.  " Sara, I'll be just outside, just holler when you need anything."  

"Right now, I don't think that you can give me what I need." I was close to tears again. 

~*~ 

Catherine's POV 

We're driving down a road, which was vaguely familiar to me; we were somewhere just outside the city. There was an old building complex at the end of the road. I watch him for a second before I take a life changing decision. This might be freedom, but it could also mean death, but at least I would fight 'til the end. He was concentrating on driving the car, holding the gun in his hand resting on his lap. I took the decision and grabbed the steering wheel, moments later the car turned around and there was a loud crash as the car slammed into the wall of the building. His head slammed against the steering wheel, he hit the window and blood gushed from his head. 

The moment the car crashed into the wall, the door at the passenger side opened and I was flung out of the car. I hit the ground and slipped into unconsciousness for a second. I regained consciousness, and looked around. The car was a total wreck; I got up gingerly and moved closer to the car. 

I observe the scene and see that he isn't moving, getting closer to the car I can see that he's still breathing. He is unconscious… I have to get away. It was at that moment that I noticed the sticky red fluid on my dress. Seeing the wound that it came from made me sick. Suddenly I could feel the pain; I guess that the first rush of adrenaline had left me, and I needed to sit down. 

~*~ 

Grissom's phone rang; he picked it up and looked at the number. It was unfamiliar, nevertheless he answered it.

"Grissom." 

"Grissom, it's me is Sara with you?" Catherine's voice sounded. 

"Cath, where are you?"

"I am not really… sure," Catherine answered disoriented, looking around trying to see whether she recognized something. "I crashed the car into a building. An old complex building outside the city." 

"Grissom, I need an ambulance." 

"Cath, why? What's wrong?" he asked scared to hear the answer.

"I… am bleeding, pretty bad. I think that I have a piece of metal in my stomach." 

"Okay, Cath stay calm and keep talking to me." Grissom gestured that they needed an ambulance. "Catherine, is there anything at all that can tell you where you are. Something that looks familiar?" Grissom asked trying to calm Catherine down. 

"I can see the Stratosphere Tower a couple of kilometers away from me on my left and this old building complex that I crashed into." 

"Warrick, Cath can see the Stratosphere on her left and she crashed into an old building complex. Try to narrow the area down and send ambulances that way. Catherine, hold on okay, can you see that bastard? Is he still unconscious?" Grissom asked Catherine to keep her talking to him. 

"Yes, he is. I found his cell in the car wreck, as well as his gun. Now I'm the one holding the gun, I wonder if he'll like that." Catherine added wryly. "Grissom you know who it is right?" 

"Yes I… we know, we saw a security tape but Sara doesn't know yet." 

"Grissom, I think that I know where Cath is." Warrick pointed at the roadmap on the table. "This could be the place."  

He looked at the map for a minute, before he nodded. "Send the ambulances there, we'll be following them. Go and see where Sara and Nick are." 

"Catherine, hold on okay, we are on our way. Just keep talking to me; I'll get the phone to Sara as fast as I can. We are on our way." 

Sara's POV 

Warrick walked up to Nick who was leaning against the wall next to the bathroom. "Nick, is Sara in there?" 

"Yeah she is, I got her to change her clothes, she had a spare set of clothes in her car for work. She's putting them on right now." Warrick nodded before he knocked on the door.  

"Sara," he called out loudly, he got no answer the first time so he knocked again. He waited a couple of seconds before he opened the door. He saw Sara sitting on the floor against the wall; her body was visibly shaking with her sobs. 

"Sara, honey Grissom is talking to Cath on the phone, she is hurt but okay. She crashed the car into a building; the ambulances are on their way. We are going to follow them right now. C'mon we have to go." Warrick helped me up and picked up the bag with my clothes.  

"Warrick is she really okay?" 

"She is hurt but talking and responding to Grissom's questions." 

~*~

Catherine's POV 

Catherine watched in horror as she noticed the movement in the car. "Don't you dare move as much as a muscle. I am the one holding the gun now and be sure that I will use it." She said trying to make her voice sound forceful, while she felt the life flowing out of her with the blood that was still drenching her clothes.

Sara's POV 

"Grissom, I need to see her. Let me go!" I screamed at him, frustrated because he wouldn't let me go. I slammed my fists against his shoulders. His arms were wrapped around me, strong arms that kept me from escaping. Arms that held me, comforted me but also kept me away from the person that needed me the most.  

I saw the paramedics lift Catherine onto the gurney. She looked pale and didn't move. I begged Grissom to let me go. 

"Sara, you can go with her but let the paramedics take care of her first."  

Finally Grissom let me go and I ran towards the ambulance, they were about to close the doors behind them. I begged them to take me with them at first they wouldn't but Grissom told them that Catherine and I were life partners. 

Cath looked up at me, tried to smile but winced at the pain that struck to her body; "Yes..." was all she said. 

"What?" I asked confused, I was so thrown by her appearance: the bruises that covered her face, the blood that covered her skin, the torn flesh, and the gaping wound in her shoulder. 

"Yes, I will marry you." Catherine took a deep breath, "That was all I could think about, I wanted was to tell you that I love you and that I would love to marry you."

**AN:** For the once who doubt the fact that Cath didn't feel any pain at first after the crash, although she had suffered severe trauma. It can happen I saw a documentary on Discovery Channel last night, way past bedtime when sleep didn't want to come. 


	36. We’ll be alright

Chapter 36

We'll be alright

Catherine was immediately taken to an OR, and I sat down in the waiting area. Tears still streaming down my face, no matter what had happened to her, Catherine's thoughts had been with me and the answer to my question.  I pulled my legs up under my chin and rested my head on my knees. The operation would take a couple of hours. 

Grissom, Warrick and Nick followed the ambulance as soon as they could. A nurse sent them to the OR waiting rooms. That was where they found Sara. Grissom asked a nurse how long the operation would take, while Nick asked Warrick to get some coffee for Sara.

"Hey Sara, how are you holding up?"  Nick asked with a soft voice, while he pulled me closer to him, comforting me. "I found something that you might want to have." He handed me the small velvet covered box. I opened it and looked at the ring. 

"She said yes." I said to Nick with a big smile shinning through my tears.

"She did, wow Sara that is great. But when did she say it."  

"In the ambulance talking about romantic, huh?"  Nick dragged me even further into his hug. "That is great, can I congratulate her when she gets back from surgery or do you want me to wait until an official announcement?" 

"Oh shit, no this can't be happening."  

"Sara, what's wrong?"  

"I am so stupid, I ask Catherine to marry me and to become a real family and I forget to call Lindsey and Jenn. They don't even know what's happened."    

"Sara, calm down okay. We'll go and find a phone and you can call them. Just calm down, they will understand." 

"Sara I brought you some coffee."  Warrick said while he stepped into the waiting area. I ran past him in search for a phone as fast as I could. I felt so stupid. 

"Jenn, it's Sara. Yes, yes  I will be your sister-in-law. I'm at the hospital, they are operating on Catherine right now."

"Listen to me, Jenn! Catherine and I got attacked; Catherine was forced to go with her attacker. She crashed the car into a wall. That saved her."   

"Yeah, she will be okay. She lost a lot of blood; I don't know anything else yet. Okay, see you soon."  

~*~

I walked back to the waiting area and sat down next to Nick. Grissom and Warrick were sitting across from me. I couldn't stand their gazes, I knew that they knew more than they were letting on. 

I get up and walk towards a nurse, asking for more information about Catherine. At the same moment Lindsey and Jenn get out of the elevator. "Sara, is she still in surgery?" Jenn asked, Lindsey looked so pale I was afraid that she would faint. I nodded at Jenn's question. 

"I just asked the nurse, she would check on Cath. But there is no news so far. Linds, come here." I wrapped my arms around Lindsey, she trembled and started to cry. "Hey sweetie, it's going to be alright. I promise."

"I don't…"  

"Shhh, Linds your mom is going to be alright. She's in the OR and she will be fine." I push Lindsey back a little and look at her. "Trust me, she will be alright, this is different, it's not the same as it was with Eddie. We will be alright." 

Lindsey nodded silently, "Let's go to the waiting area, the others are there too."   

~*~ 

I sat down on one of the chairs. Lindsey dropped in the chair next to me, a moment later she snuggled up to me placing her head in my lap. I was stroking her strawberry blonde hair, without noticing it I was thinking back on the moments that Catherine and I had spend like this watching a movie or just talking. And sometimes even when we where doing nothing. 

"Catherine Willows' family?"  A surgeon asked reading Catherine's name from the chart looking at the group of people in the waiting area. I got up, together with Jenn and Lindsey.

"Miss Willows will make a full recovery. We gave her some stitches in her shoulder, she had a pretty deep laceration there."  He pointed at the place where the wound was. "We've removed the piece of metal that was embedded in her stomach. It was mostly a flesh wound, which tore some veins, that was why she was bleeding so profusely.  We have repaired the damage and given her a blood transfusion. She will be weak, probably asleep and she will need her sleep. But her direct family can go and see her now."  The surgeon took another look at the group. "So who is going with me?" 

Before I could answer the question, Jenn did it for me.  "Sara, she's my sister's girlfriend and Lindsey, Catherine's daughter." 

The surgeon saw my doubts: he shrugged. "Well that is as good as family to me. Come with me and I'll show you the room."

~*~

I opened the door and Lindsey passed me. Catherine was lying in the bed; her face was pale. But she looked better than she did in the ambulance. Lindsey grabbed Catherine's hand placing a kiss on top of it. Catherine's eyes fluttered open and I was so happy to see those beautiful blue eyes. "There are my two girls, hi sweetie."  Catherine said reaching her hand up to Lindsey's tear stained face. "Hey sweetie there is no need to cry. I'll be alright."  

I smiled. Typical Catherine, she is the one who is hurt and she's thinking about all the people around her. Answering my question was more important than her own health. Now comforting Lindsey came first. I watched them for a while, keeping my distance. Then Catherine called out my name. 

"Sara, honey, come here." I moved closer to the bed.

"Hi babe, are you in any pain?" Catherine shook her head, no.

"I'm fine. Come here…" Catherine pulled me closer until my lips crashed onto hers. Lindsey was sitting in the chair silent at first, but then she started to make 'eww' sounds. "Mom, it's gross when parents kiss."  

Catherine immediately released me and looked at Lindsey. "Parents, as in two?  Does she know?"  Catherine asked. 

"Yeah she does, I asked her what she thought about me asking you to marry me. I wouldn't have asked you if Lindsey, Jenn and Nick hadn't been this supportive." 

"Nick, so that was that talk that Nick and you had. A couple of weeks back. Sneaky!" Catherine smiled, "I should have known something was going on, you two sneaking around behind my back."      

"I have something for you, if you still want it?"  I ask mockingly retrieving the little velvet box from my pocket. 

"Of course I still want it, you know how I love jewelry." Catherine said, squeezing her eyes a little before she stuck out her tongue. Lindsey was still giggling in the chair. I retrieved the ring from the little box. I hold Catherine's left hand in mine, and slip the ring onto her finger. 

Lindsey congratulated us, before she ran out into the hall. We could hear her squeals while she told Warrick and Grissom. that we were going to get married.  We both laughed at Lindsey's reaction. "Well I guess we don't have to break that news to them."  

"You kind of brought that on yourself, you tell her that you want to ask me to marry you and then tell her that she can't tell anyone else. That must have been hard on her. She is only eleven, and very talkative." 


	37. Revenge is sweet…

AN: Thanks again to Autumn, who was a wonderful help during the creation of this chapter. I would sent you a gap toothed smile if I had one (cause I know how much you like them), hun. 

Thanks again,

Angelique 

Chapter 37

Revenge is sweet…

Catherine's POV

I walked down the hallway reading a file. It was my first day back at the labs. I couldn't really concentrate on the task at hand. I had to do some lab test, but for the last thirty minutes I had been reading the same three sentences. And I still had no clue what they said. I was worried about Sara, this whole ordeal with these murders and my kidnap had left to some pretty deep scars for Sara mentally speaking. She felt guilty because she was knocked unconscious and wasn't there to save me. She felt guilty ever since we told her who killed these women and almost me because she knew how close he had been all the time. She could keep her happy show up at home, but I knew that she wanted revenge. And that thought kept ringing through my mind, a little nagging voice.  

I had talked to her told her that we were okay, and that we would have a great wedding and that we would live happily ever after and that that bastard would rot in jail. Sara had shrugged her shoulders, and told me that she wanted him dead. I made a comment, asked her if she had taken a good look at the guy. I said to her that she would get her revenge; in jail he would be everybody's bitch. We had laughed; revenge could be sweet. All though it had a bitter aftertaste, we had survived the others didn't.  

I hadn't even noticed that I stopped walking, until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up into the smiling light colored eyes that belong to Warrick.

"Are you okay, Catherine?" 

"All right, sure I am. Just thinking about… stuff." 

"Are you sure?" he asked reassuring himself that I was speaking the truth.

"Yes, I am, I was just thinking about the contents of this file." I said, holding up the file. Warrick nodded before he followed his way down the hall.  

I looked up from the file and noticed Sara, standing in front of the room next to the interrogation room. Gazing through the two-way-window, her shoulders rigid, fists clenched shut and her knuckles turned white. Something held me back, was it the anger so obviously displayed in her appearance.

Sara´s POV

Looking through the window, I could see Grissom talking to that bastard. How can he stay so calm? Anger was taking over my thoughts. I wanted him to feel the pain that Catherine and I had felt… not even to mention the other women. I was clenching my fists, my nails marking the inside my palms. Biting my lip until I tasted blood. 

"Why did you do it?" Grissom asked the bastard. He laughed his evil laugh; I never even knew he had it before.

"Why don't you bring those bitches in and let me tell them why I did it." 

That was it, no more playing nice Sara. I would show him fear. I ran out of the room, and bumped into someone, I had no idea who. I barge into the interrogation room and launce myself at him, "How could you do that to my woman! How could you? Wanna see a terrified look, take a look in the mirror, asshole." I screamed, slamming my fists wherever I could hit him.

He fell on the ground, and I fell on top of him still slamming my fists into him. Grissom came up from behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me backwards.

"No Grissom, let me go. He deserves to be dead." I fought Grissom off, "He almost killed Catherine, Hodges has to pay for what he did to all those women." I fought Grissom, and pushed him back against the wall. He slipped down until he sat on the ground. I took a look around and saw Hodges in the corner of the room. 

"Sara!" Catherine screamed in despair, she knew that she wouldn't be able to hold me back. She had seen Grissom crash into the wall. She immediately bent down to help Grissom up. "Sara!" Catherine's pleas got lost in my anger. 

I walked through the small room and grabbed the chair that had been occupied by Hodges during the interrogation. I lifted it above his head, when I suddenly heard the voice of Jim Brass calling my name.

"Sara stop!" I spun around and saw the gun aimed at me. I saw the fear in Catherine's eyes and Grissom still on the floor. Catherine got up and placed herself between Jim and me. Jim immediately lowered his gun, pointing it at the floor but still close. 

"Sara." Cath states in a weak, tear strained voice. I stared down at Hodges with a death glare, still with the chair raised above my head. Looking around it hits me, my own actions struck me with fear. I am no better then he is. I lowered the chair and threw it into one of the corners of the interrogation room, where it crashed into the wall.  

I couldn't even look at Catherine, when I saw her move closer towards me. I ran as fast as I could pushing away everyone in my path. Her trembling calls made me realize how much pain I had caused her. 

~*~

I locked myself into Catherine's office lowering the blinds before I sat down in the corner which was furthest from the door, the one behind her desk. It has been an hour since I ran away from the scene and I am sure everyone is looking for me to drag me down to Grissom's office so he can kick me out. 

I hear the door open and I look up, I wish that Catherine would leave me alone. I thought that I would be safe here for a while so that I could order the thoughts running through my mind. I look away from the door, away from the spot where Catherine is standing. She heard the sobs and rushed towards her desk, instantly she knows where I am. And without a warning she sits down besides me and pulls me into a hug. I cover my face with my hands I am so ashamed, I thought that I was doing the right thing. But why did I feel so shitty if it was. 

"It's going to be alright, honey." Catherine's soothing voice says to me. 

"How can you say that, Grissom is probably buying a one way ticket to Frisco right now. And he will probably escort me to the airplane just to make sure that I am on my way out of this place." He won't recommend anyone to employ me so I'll be back in Frisco, without a job. Maybe I can get one at the Burger King or something." 

"Sara, if he does that, that means that I'll have to call some schools in Frisco."

"Why, to get me into another field of education?" I sigh deeply.

"No silly, for Lindsey, do you expect me to stay here?" I was kind of shocked to hear that impulsive answer. I looked up at Catherine wondering why she wasn't afraid. I was afraid of myself, I hate myself at this moment. I never knew that I had this strength in me. I guess that it had been a whole lot of pent up frustration towards the men in my life. My dad, Amy's dad and brother, Paul they had all took something that was so important to me that I thought that I wouldn't be able to survive. And still I did, I was still here but Hodges he had just been the last straw. "I said yes to you and I'm not running from you now. We'll make it and if Grissom doesn't understand what happened back there then he will lose two CSI's."    

"So you don't hate me?" 

She nods her head silently, "No I don't hate you, I'm not in the shape to kick his ass. But I would have loved to." She kisses my forehead. "You scared me but that is all. We'll get through it together."  

"Let's go. I am sure the others are waiting, for me to return with you. I asked them to give us some time alone."

It took me a couple of minutes to get ready to go, I was scared but at least now I know that there was someone supporting me.

~*~ 

Catherine knocked on the door that gave access to Grissom's office. Every one was indeed waiting for us there. The whole team, even Brass and Greg. I had no idea why Greg was here. Oh well, maybe he'll get to take my place when they fire me. 

"Sara, this would be a good reason to fire you. You attacked a suspect, attacked me and Jim had to point his gun at you before you stopped." 

"Fire me, fine!" I said angrily, while I dropped my gun and badge on Grissom's desk. "Do whatever you like but don't call that bastard a suspect. He is just as guilty as he would have been if we caught him red handed and you know it." 

I was ready to turn around and leave the building when Catherine's hand on my arm restrained me. "Grissom, you can't fire Sara. If you do you can fire me as well." She looked around the room; everyone had a shocked look on their faces. "I gave Sara my word and I'm not taking it back. What Sara did wasn't the right thing. But no one in this room can deny that this didn't cross their mind. Greg had to be held back by two officers when they brought Hodges in. Knowing those two," Catherine said turning her gaze to Nick and Warrick "the thought of beating that guy up has crossed their mind more then once. True or not?" Nick and Warrick nodded their heads, yes. 

"I wanted to do it, but I am still recovering from the whole thing. So I knew that I was no challenge for him, one knock in the right place and I would be out. Grissom, Jim, you cannot tell me in all honesty that you didn't think about it?" Looking at their guilty faces I knew that I was getting to them at the right place. "Yeah, I thought so." I answered my question for them.


	38. Away

Chapter 38  
  
Away  
  
"Sara, Catherine, sit down both of you." Grissom waited until we sat down.  
  
"No Grissom, I do not need to hear you fire me. I'd rather leave with some dignity before you shoot me down."  
  
"Sara, sit down god damnit! Can't you just for once do what I ask." Grissom stood up smacking his hand on a pile of files. This time emotions where running so high that even Grissom lost his temper. I didn't know what to do, part of me was so ashamed that I wanted to leave this room immediately but the other half of me still hoped that things could be like they were before.  
  
Catherine had already sat down on one of the chairs. She saw my internal conflict, and grabbed a hold of my hand. Pulling me closer to her. She placed a kiss on the top of my hand. Looking up she pleaded me to sit down, with the look in her eyes.  
  
I sit down and wait for what happens next. Let them decide what the next step will be.  
  
"Sara, Catherine, both of you are going on a leave of absence for a week. I don't want to see you around here for at least a week. Take these keys and spend some time together at my cabin down at Lake Mead. Catherine you know where it is right?" Grissom asked Catherine.  
  
"Yes I can remember where it is." Catherine answered taking the keys from Grissom. I looked at Catherine for an explanation, a look that didn't go unnoticed by the others in the room. "Jealousy!" I heard Greg mumble behind his hand to Nick and Warrick. I diverted my look to Greg who held his hands up in defense.  
  
"Just kidding Sara no need to harm me."  
  
"Grissom gave me the keys to his cabin so that I could go there on a vacation with Lindsey." Catherine explained. "That's all."  
  
"I know that, and if there was something else then it was something that happened in the past. And it would have had nothing to do with me." I bit back at Greg.  
  
"Greg," Grissom warned before he could even open his mouth to comment. "You'll be working as a CSI in the following week, you can use it as field hours."  
  
~*~  
  
We left the building at the break of dawn. Catherine stopped me and looked up into my eyes. She closed the space between us, and her lips collided with mine.  
  
"I love you." She mumbles, her lips still on mine. "Love you too, babe." I mumble, before I pull back. "Let's go home." Catherine wraps her arm around me and we walk towards our car.  
  
I drive the car to Jenn's house, to pick up Lindsey and to ask for another favor. We know we're pushing our luck here. But Lindsey has to go to school during the week and I think that Cath and I really need some time alone. Away from home and the usual things.  
  
Catherine knocks on the door, I am standing behind her. Lindsey opens the door and hugs Catherine, I know that I will get the same treatment within a couple of seconds.  
  
"Hey sweetheart." I say, stroking her blonde hair.  
  
We sit down in the living room, Jenn had been waiting for us and poured coffee into a couple of mugs and sat them down on the table.  
  
"Jenn can I ask you another favor?"  
  
"Yeah sure you can, Cath what is it?"  
  
"Something happened at work today and Grissom gave us the week off. He also gave us the keys of his cabin, but Lindsey has to go to school."  
  
"She can stay here, no problem." Jenn grinned.  
  
~*~  
  
"Cath, are you ready?" I called up, standing at the bottom of the stairs.  
  
"Almost, almost." I hear her mumble, moments later she appears at the top of the stairs. I take over the bag and stepped outside towards the car and put the bag in the back. Catherine closed the door behind her and locked the door. Then she got into the car.  
  
~*~  
  
Catherine stared at the map, "Somewhere around this point you should find a road on your left. A small unmetalled road, which will lead to the small cabin." Catherine looked around, "There it is!" she said pointing at the road before us.  
  
I drove the car off the road onto the bumpy terrain. A small road let us through and open place, with a little cabin in the middle. The cabin was surrounded by woods at the back and the lake in front. It was beautiful.  
  
I got out of the car and stretched my legs. Looking around, I just had to chuckle this place was 'so' Grissom.  
  
"What?" Catherine asked curious.  
  
"This place it's so Grissom, it's silent, away from the world and peaceful." I walk up behind Catherine and wrap my arms around her waist, kissing the curve of her neck.  
  
"I know, that was what I thought when I came here the first time."  
  
"Let's get settled, before we prepare some dinner." I nod but I'm not just ready to let Catherine go. I love the way that her body feels against mine.  
  
~*~  
  
Catherine was sitting on the front porch in the fading sunlight, I looked at her for a while, staring at the woman in front of me that would soon be mine. I walk up to her with two plates in my hands. I hand one to Catherine and place one next to her. I walk back to the small kitchen in the cabin and open the doors to the cabinets until I find what I was looking for. Stepping back outside I hand Catherine the glasses and pour some wine into them. I sit down and take the a glass over after I placed the plate on my thighs. In silence we eat our meal. I place the plate next to me before I pick up the glass of wine and take a sip.  
  
"This is beautiful." I admire the sunset as the sun sparkles on the lake.  
  
"I know, I love it."  
  
"You know what I love?" Catherine diverts her look from the lake to me. "You." I add, before I lean over to Catherine and kiss her lips tenderly.  
  
"Me, you do?" Catherine teased.  
  
"Do I need to prove it to you?" I ask Catherine with a chuckle.  
  
"Oh, please do!" Catherine asks still kissing me in between her talking.  
  
"Ï will babe, I will." I get up still not loosing the contact with Catherine. I pull her up holding her hands when I finally break apart.  
  
I lead Catherine inside the cabin and start to undress her, while Catherine fumbled with my belt. Catherine's voice is husky when she asks me if I am sure. "Sure, I am sure." I answer her question looking at her in a weird way. "Why?"  
  
"Grissom's cabin." Catherine asks, while she pulls up my shirt and breaks our kiss.  
  
"I am going to act like I didn't hear that okay?" I tell Catherine while I loose my shirt it drops to the floor seconds later Catherine's top follows. Her hands roam over my body and I shiver.  
  
"Are you cold?"  
  
"No Catherine, I am hot! What's the matter are you scared?"  
  
"Well it's the first time..."  
  
"First time since what, Catherine?" I asked bitterly. "The attack, since you where injured or the first time since I almost killed Hodges? Are you scared of me, you know I would never do anything to hurt you or Lindsey."  
  
"Sara, I am not afraid especially not when I'm around you. I love you." Catherine says looking into my eyes, stroking away a strand of hair that falls in front of my face. Catherine leaned in and kissed me again. "I want you and I promise that I will stop asking stupid questions." Catherine chuckles, and I can't help but chuckle too. This is such a weird situation.  
  
Catherine's POV  
  
Sara opens her eyes, a smile on her face, I can see the gap between her teeth, she looks so beautiful when she smiles like that. I can't help myself but kiss her, stroking my tongue over the gap.  
  
I look into her eyes, they light up before they darken from the arousal. I concentrate on Sara and push her down to the bed. She leans back while I straddle her thighs. Leaning forward I passionately capture her lips. I remove the clothes that she was wearing, throwing them aside the moment they come off. Leaning down she traced a path down to the ear lobe and from the ear lobe to the collar-bone. Her hands massaging the tense breasts, and erect nipples. I look up one more time her eyes are now dark and I know that she's getting closer with every kiss, every gesture and every movement.  
  
Her skin is covered with a thin layer of sweat, her breathing is ragged as I enter her core, penetrating with two fingers. Moving them in and out with a slow pace, I tease Sara by holding out on her. When she begs me to go on. I am not ready to let her go. I kiss her belly, and with one last thrust her hips bucked as the orgasm washed over her. My body went into pure bliss as I felt Sara come.  
  
I crawled into Sara's embrace and rested my head on her chest. With the rising and falling of her chest I could feel her breathing become less ragged. Until at some point it returned to normal breathing.  
  
"Thank you, babe." She whispered her voice still husky.  
  
I smiled, how could something that felt this good be wrong. I turned around and looked up at Sara, she fluttered her eyes open and smiled.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Sara asks, tracing my jaw line with her finger.  
  
"You, me, us, Lindsey, the wedding. All the preparations that we need to make. It's a lot you know especially when you want to have a party and all."  
  
"I know, we need a date, rings and something to wear. And I have to call Nick's mother to make arrangements with her. And we have to ask for vacation time and everyone on our shift needs to have time off. Grissom will love that!"  
  
"I know!" I laughed just thinking about the look on Grissom's face when he realized that the whole graveyard shift needed time off.  
  
Sara's POV  
  
I wrapped my arms around Catherine, I could have never imagined that I would be able to love someone the way I love her. I kissed Catherine and gave her the same treatment as she had given to me just half an hour before.  
  
Later that night I watched Catherine as she slept. She looks so beautiful and innocent, lying there with a smile on her face. I, on the other hand, couldn't sleep, my usual dose of insomnia was keeping me awake. Thinking about the things that were about to happen, I sat down on the porch, and watched the sky night above the water.  
  
The week passed in no time, and we headed back to Las Vegas and our normal life with all kinds of plans for wedding all talked through. Now all we had to do was make the arrangements and then one day our big day would arrive.  
  
AN: I need some help, I need to find a song or a poem that would be perfect to go with a wedding ceremony. Tell me which song you like or send it to me in an email at nepeace@hetnt.nl and maybe you'll see it in the wedding chapter. 


	39. The Wedding

**Chapter 39  
  
The wedding**  
  
Catherine's POV  
  
Lindsey and Warrick followed me with their eyes as I continued walking up and down the room once again. Lindsey had pleaded with me to stop but I just couldn't do it. I was so nervous that I couldn't stop walking I just had to do something. I stopped for a second when I saw that a strand of hair had escaped Lindsey's hair do. It now curled down besides her face, I walked over to my little girl and put the strand of hair back into one of the clips.  
  
Lindsey smiled at me, and told me that everything would be okay.  
  
I know that she's right but still, I move towards Warrick and notice that his bow tie is hanging down his jacket. I help him tie it and look at him from a little distance when someone knocks on the door.  
  
Warrick turns around to open it and Greg comes in. Lindsey is trying to hold in her laughter when she lays eyes on Greg, His hair is combed against his scalp and he looks ridiculous.  
  
"Greg, what's that?"  
  
"What's what?" he questions me.  
  
"Your hair, Greg what did you do?"  
  
"This is a wedding ceremony not a rock concert." Greg mock imitated Grissom.  
  
"Get over here and let me do your hair. This is my wedding and I want everyone to be natural and not like this..." I said throwing my hands in the air with a mock sigh. "You can do that at Grissom's wedding, and lets just hope for you that that day will never come. Have you even looked at yourself in the mirror?"  
  
Lindsey and Warrick were trying to hide their grins, and clearly not managing too well.  
  
Sara's POV  
  
I looked down at the lawn, there were two rows of chairs place along an aisle. We had asked for white accents and that was precisely what Nick's mother had done. The walkway was covered with white flowers on both sides. As was the little stage in front of the chairs, on the stage was an arch- bow covered with green plants and white lilies. The priest was talking to Grissom. I heard someone walk up behind me and turned around.  
  
Nick walked up beside me; I was standing at the window, fully dressed for the reception in my ivory suit, my hair down and straightened, my make up light.  
  
"Hey Sara." Nick stated. I turn to face Nick and smile "Hey you." I state. "You ok?" Nick asks I nod, looking back out the window.  
  
"Yea I...I can't believe this is happening... four years ago I would of never imagined much less thought of doing this. I know it started with Ryan, but one small boy changed Catherine's and my lives...forever, I dunno...it's weird how something so small changed our lives but... I know that I am the happiest woman on earth right now," Sara paused, her lip trembling a bit and her eyes watering. "Honestly, I have never been so happy in my life." Sara stated and Nick grabbed her in a fierce hug.  
  
"Don't worry, everything will be just fine," Nick stated and Sara chuckled, pulling away. "It's time...are you ready?" Nick asked and Sara took in a deep breath, exhaling through her mouth and then nodding. "Yea, I'm ready." Sara stated. Nick smiled and led Sara out of the room. "This is what I wanted how can I be so nervous."  
  
"I guess that's normal. You'll be alright." Nick said once more pulling me into a hug.  
  
"Nick, thank you for your help, without you this wouldn't have happened."  
  
"Well, thank my mother she is the one who really made this happen." Nick said smiling as he watched his mother telling his nephews and nieces what to do. "Yep, that's my mom, telling everyone what to do." Nick smiled.  
  
"C'mon let's go, it's time." Nick took my hand and hooked it into his arm. We walked down the stairs. Lindsey was standing in the hallway with Janice, Marc and Ryan. Ryan was almost four and a half now; he had changed so much over the last couple of months.  
  
"Hey Ryan, you're such a big boy. Are you going to help us today?" I asked Ryan. Kneeling down before him, he was still a shy boy who didn't trust everyone. And there where a lot of people out there that he didn't know. So we had decided to ask him to help us, but we would give him the last choice. He would be our ring bearer while Lindsey was the bridesmaid.  
  
"Janice said that I could carry the rings and that I can give them to you when she tells me too. Can I?" Ryan asked looking up at me with his bright blue eyes.  
  
"Yes you can, now give me a hug sweetheart." I said pulling Ryan into my embrace. "Nick, is Sara ready?" Warrick called from upstairs. Nick looked at me and I nodded at him.  
  
"We're ready to go."  
  
Outside the music started playing and Nick's mom opened the patio doors. The sun shone on the wooden floor.  
  
"This is it," I whispered, Nick hugged me.  
  
"Ready?" I nodded he took my hand and hooked his arm into mine. Together we stepped into the bright sunlight onto the patio. There weren't a lot of guests; we had only invited some really close friends. After that fiasco with my parents I decided to not inform them about my marriage plans. Nick leads me down the aisle that divided the rows of chairs. At both sides of the aisle white flowers are covering the side of the chairs. In front of us is the little stage, where the minister is waiting for the ceremony to start. I mouthed "thank you" to Nick before he walked over to the left side, taking his place standing next to Grissom. I looked up at the patio doors and waited for a moment until the doors opened again. Lindsey and Ryan appeared holding hands, slowly walking down the aisle. And then Catherine guided by Warrick appeared in the door opening, I was amazed by the view in front of me. Catherine was wearing an ivory white dress that perfectly matched my suit. Jenn had volunteered to help us both with our clothes and she told us not to worry that she would make sure that our clothes would match. She pulled of a great job.  
  
Lindsey and Ryan took their places next to Jenn and Janice at the front row. Catherine started walking towards me; a smile covering her face and her eyes sparkling with happiness. Catherine let go of Warrick's hand, and took mine. I looked her in her beautiful blue eyes, and smiled; I could drown in those blue orbs forever. "You look beautiful."  
  
"Have you looked in the mirror, babe?" Catherine whispered in my ear before she planted a kiss on my cheek. Tears of happiness made my eyes blurry. 


	40. The ceremony

**Chapter 40**

**The ceremony__**

****

The priest nodded his head and waited until we both nodded back before he started the ceremony;

"Good afternoon, and welcome to the ceremony that will unite Sara and Catherine in marriage.  
We gather here today to celebrate their union, and to honor their commitment  
to not just gazing at one another, but to looking outward together in the same direction.   
Today Sara and Catherine proclaim their love to the world, and we rejoice with and for them."

"In marriage, we give ourselves freely and generously into the hands of the one we love, and in doing so, each of us receives the love and trust of the other as our most precious gift. But even as that gift is shared by two people who are in love, it also touches the friends and family members who in various ways support and contribute to the relationship. All of you are Sara and Catherine's community, and each of you has played some part in bringing them to this moment. This is why gathering as a community is such an important part of a wedding ceremony. Because Sara and Catherine are now taking a new form as a married couple, and in this form, they become part of their community in a new way."

The priest looked at me and waited until I took the word;

"When we decided to write our own vows I knew that I 'm not really a writer nor a poet. So I decided to do it a little differently. A way that suits me more. Most people don't know this about me but I love to make music and sing. And Catherine, babe this one is for you." I smiled while I stroke my thumb over Catherine's hand. 

Greg handed me my guitar and I stroke the first chords.

"I always loved this song, but singing it for you makes it even more special."

_No words to say  
No words to convey  
This feeling inside I have for you  
Deep in my heart  
Safe from the guards  
Of intellect and reason  
Leaving me at a loss   
For words to express my feelings  
Deep in my heart  
Deep in my heart  
  
_

I am looking at Catherine, a tear rolls down her cheek. The sunlight sparkles in her eyes, and her smile tells me just how much she loves me. We don't need to voice what we think, we know what we feel anyway.

_  
Look at me losing control  
Thinking I had a hold  
But with feelings this strong  
I'm no longer the master  
Of my emotions   
No words to say  
No words to convey_  
_This feeling inside I have for you  
For you  
For you_

The priest waited while the audience clapped their hands. I guess that most people where not aware of this side of Sara Sidle that surfaced right in front of them when they didn't expect it.

"Sara repeat after me …"

I turned to Catherine and held her hands in mine; I looked down into her light blue eyes. Before I repeated the words that the priest said.

_I, Sara take you Catherine Elisabeth Willows to be my wife_

_I promise to you to stand by your side   
Unfailingly share and support your hopes and dreams   
When you fall, I will catch you   
When you cry, I will comfort you  
When you laugh, I'll share your joy  
No matter what lies ahead for us I will see it as a journey   
One, that can only be completed by the two of us together  
From this moment everything I am and everything I have is yours  
and for eternity my love for you will remain._

_I, Catherine take you Sara Ann Sidle to be my wife_

_I promise to you to stand by your side   
Unfailingly share and support your hopes and dreams   
When you fall, I will catch you   
When you cry, I will comfort you  
When you laugh, I'll share your joy  
No matter what lies ahead for us I will see it as a journey   
One, that can only be completed by the two of us together  
From this moment everything I am and everything I have is yours  
and for eternity my love for you will remain._

_For thousands of years lovers have exchanged rings as a token of their vows.   
These simple gold bands are not of great value in themselves,   
but are made precious by our wearing of them.   
Your rings say that even in your uniqueness you have chosen to be bound together.   
Let these rings also be a sign that love has substance as well as soul,   
a present as well as a past, and that, despite its occasional sorrows,   
love is a circle of happiness, wonder, and delight._

Jenn and Janice where talking to Ryan instructing him when he should walk up to us to hand the rings to us. I could see that he was nervous. Lindsey kneeled down in front of him and whispered to him softly. She held out her hand to Ryan and together they walked up to us.

Catherine quickly let go of my hands, and stroked Lindsey's back while she whispered;  "Thank you" to her daughter. I should say 'our' daughter because I would sign the adoption papers right after the marriage license Catherine wanted us to be a real family and she asked me what I would think about adopting Lindsey.

Flashback

"Hey Sara, can I talk to you?"

"Yeah sure, what's wrong?" I asked while I watched the nervous look on Catherine's face.

"Nothing is wrong…" she added, while she dropped down on the couch next to me. "Really nothing is wrong, don't worry sweetie."

"Well then tell me I already asked you to marry me so I'm not running away that fast." I joked trying to make Catherine less nervous. "Seriously Cath talk to me?"

"I ehm … It's about Lindsey. I … I wanted to ask you if you want to adopt her, make her legally ours. So that you are her legal guardian if something happens to me? Not that something will happen, but you never know."

"But Cath what about Jenn and Lindsey, do they know? Isn't Jenny her gardian?"

Catherine leaned in closer and touched my cheek. "I have talked to Lindsey and she didn't mind. All she asked was whether we could be a real family then and I told her that we were a real family anyway. And Jenn asked her what she thought about it, and she told me that it was only natural. And she will still be Lindsey's second guardian."

End flashback

"Sara, take Catherine's ring and put it on her finger, and repeat after me" the priest said while he turned his attention back to the couple in front of him:

_"Just as this circle is without end, my love for you is eternal  
Just as it is made of indestructible substance  
my commitment to you will never fail   
With this ring I take you to be my trusted confidante   
and partner for life."_

The priest repeated the same routine with Catherine. Tears of utter happiness blurred my vision the moment she spoke out the words.  The tenderness in her voice and her gentle gestures, it was all so beautiful.

"With this and by the power invested in me by the state of Texas, I now pronounce you wife and … wife."

The audience smirked at the remark of wife and wife. But I didn't pay any attention to it. All my attention went to my wife. I gently kissed her on her lips, within just mere seconds I could feel Catherine's hands on my back. While she pulled me closer, we deepened the kiss.__

Greg made sure that the DJ would play 'for you' as the song for our first dance. I looked at Catherine while the song started. "Would you like to dance with me?"

"I thought you would never ask me to dance with you. Maybe later I can also do some dancing especially for you …" Catherine added with a mysterious grin on her face.

"I would love that … babe."

We where dancing around the dance floor totally lost in time and space, my arms wrapped around Catherine I can feel the warmth of her body all over mine. Catherine's hands where positioned on my bare back underneath my jacket. Her head was resting against shoulder. She slowly followed my movements.


	41. The day after

**Chapter 41**

**The day after **

Our suitcases where packed and standing on the curb, we where ready to leave. Our first night as a married couple was wonderful; we danced until we where the only couple left on the dance floor. It was weird; it wasn't like me, at least not the me that I used to be. But I guess that a lot of things were different now, and this was part of the 'new' me, the married me.

Nothing makes me feel better then to hold my wife in my arms, whispering sweet words into her ear. Telling her how beautiful she is, how lucky I am to have her. And to hear her say those words back to me.

I hugged the guys and we said our goodbyes. Catherine was talking to Lindsey, telling Lindsey the usual things that moms do before they leave their kids with someone else. Although we both knew that Lindsey knows how to behave Catherine still wanted to make sure that she had said those things. Reminded Lindsey of how to behave and that she loves her. I was listening to Catherine and Lindsey when Greg all of the sudden wraps his arms around my neck and plants a kiss on my cheek.

"Sorry, I just had to do that." Greg stands in front of me holding his hands up in defense,  "Sara, don't hate me for saying this, and please don't kill me but damn Sara you look sweet, marriage suits you." Greg added with a huge grin on his face and a naughty sparkle in his eyes. 

I just laughed at his comment and hugged Greg, I guess that surprised him even more. But I didn't care; nothing could ruin my good mood.

I called Lindsey and she walked over to me. Grissom and Catherine where talking quietly. I knelt down and opened my bag. I picked up a little box and handed it to Lindsey. "I wanted to give you this, I hope you like it."

Lindsey smiled, she opened the box and her blue eyes got bigger when she saw what was in the box. I had bought her a bracelet, I had seen her look at it when we where searching for rings. I kept that in mind and reminded myself of it when I was in the mall alone a couple of weeks ago. I just had to buy it for Lindsey. I knew that I had been spoiling her but just seeing her happy face made me feel good.

"Thank you, Sara!" Lindsey exclaimed happily when she embraced me.

"No problem, sweetie, I'm just glad you like it."  I pick Lindsey up and embrace her as she giggles. I turn around and see Catherine's look when she sees me with her daughter. I know that she is proud of the way that we're handling the situation. I know that Catherine had been afraid of how we would handle living as a family both from my view as well as from Lindsey perspective. I put Lindsey back down on her feet and helped her to put the bracelet on.

Nick took us to the airport along with Jenn and Lindsey.

I popped the cork of the champagne bottle and poured it into two glasses. I handed Catherine a glass of champagne and bent down to kiss her. The soft sounds of the music played in the background and the yellow glow from the candles set the right tone for the mood.

I smiled at Catherine, she smile back while she moved slowly forward reaching out her hand and guided me closer to her. Our lips crashed into each other in yet another battle for power.  Allowing me to get into the bathtub I slide behind her into the hot water. Catherine leaned her head back against my shoulder as she snuggles her naked body into mine. Her eyes are closed and she moans softly, the moment I kiss the curve in her neck. My fingers draw circles on her thigh. I lazily sip from the champagne with a happy smile on my face.

"Babe, I love you!" I whisper into her ear, my voice trembles I am taken by the love that I feel.

****

**_The end_******

**AN:  **The end or to be continued?

Thank you's 

I know it has been a while since my last update, a lot of things have happened in the meantime and I wasn't able to write a lot. Not because I didn't have the time, but more because I couldn't get the words on the paper. And even through the support of Lewis and Autumn, I wasn't able to get it done any sooner.

I appreciate all the reviews that I got for my stories 'Only time could tell' and 'Sweet Salvation' thanks for sticking with me through all of these chapters.

As you may or may not have noticed I left this story an open end. So what do you want? Do you want me to continue or shall I leave it at this. If I continue then I have to add that I am going to work on a plot for the story and I want to have some chapters written before I start updating again. I can't say how long it will take me to start the new story or when I can post it. I don't want to force myself into writing. Does anyone have any ideas for the third part? I know I have some … but I'm not sure if that is what you want to read.

Thanks goes out to Dutchie, Lewis and Autumn. Dutchie and Lewis for being my beta's. And Autumn for helping me out with some scenes.  Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I couldn't have done it without you guys. 

Thank you also to my readers and reviewers. Every review rocks my heart, more then you will ever know.

Peace and take care,

Angelique


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